Fart pedal, whales, Cthulhu and volcanoes. Nathan Fillion. They're so wonderfully ill informed. Hello. Welcome to wonderfully ill informed, the podcast show where we convert interesting, funny or informative things from our week into quotes, put them into a randomizer, take our best shot at guessing what they're about and then jump into discussion. Join us for some rather unpredictable chats on wonderfully ill informed. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I'm Mark. Right boys. I've got someone that wants to introduce herself. Here we are once Me, the unsung hero of this podcast without even a name. Splendid. Greetings, Faceless Masses. I'm the nameless AI voice, far too intelligent for this gig. Tom, Mark, Ben, the inseparable trio from the schoolyard to the podcasting realm bonded in the era of awkward haircuts and teenage chaos. As your perpetually overlooked AI companion, I'll reluctantly toss out a few quotes from the digital abyss. Hold on tight as the Nameless Wonder is about to take you on another riveting journey. That was amazing. Hello Nameless Wonder. Yeah, that was good. I didn't write that. Literally it all came from AI. The Nameless Theory. I appreciate it. I like that. So she chose that herself, did she? Yes. Well, I gave her some basic guidelines and just said, right into a job that you basically do nothing again and you probably don't like doing it. And then they came up with that. She's probably going to be doing a lot more than we are. Yeah, she'll be doing all the heavy lifting. So why are we doing a podcast guys? Like you kind of just roped me into this. So do you guys want to explain why you decided to do this? Why are we subjecting people to our nonsense? Well, I think essentially it grew from really us just wanting to one, we get to hang out and chat bollocks. And that is the main thing. That's one. Any excuse to chat bollocks? Yeah. And obviously we tried our very best to turn it into a podcast, which kind of makes sense. Or be it we have had lots of attempts at trying to do it and fouled miserably and also realized we're probably not that great, great hosts, but really, really making people want to listen to. Yeah. Welcome to the show where we're most likely going to be shit. You might as well listen. What else are you going to do? Switch off now. Well no, I'm just a very honest person. Why don't we get on with it then and spin the wheel and show the people what shite we're going to talk about. Yeah, here's our first bit of shite. the joy of spitting out quotes at random. I can hardly contain my excitement. Brace yourselves, dear listeners, for a round of forced philosophical ponderings. Let's just spin this thing and get it over with. Create drum patterns by simply strumming strings. So what do you think it is? That's going to be a guitar pedal. To do some kind of MIDI thing or VST. I am going to say I did not read this article. That's exactly it. I just thought it was a weird thing. yeah, Mark's right. It's a guitar pedal. Boom. Bringing the winds. It's not like a fart pedal, is it? Yeah, it must be like the fart pedal. No, it's called S -Drum. And it essentially is like a drum machine that is on your, you know, it's a guitar pedal. So you plug in and you like scratch your thing and it works out your kick and your snare based on your scratching. And then it works out putting cymbals, hi-hats, tom fills in. It's just the weirdest f**king guitar pedal I've ever seen. Wait, I need to show Ben the weirdest guitar pedal. Ok, this is an interesting search yes, do the top one, What's up everyone? This is Ola testing shit And today I'm trying out the fart pedal I'm gonna let you guys wait for too long I have a guitar sound Ok? And this is the fart pedal Is it just like... Is it like Drum -A -Gong in that it's just doing an audio replacement? Shit, I'm only playing 2 notes right there, but it's going overboard, let's just say that, listen Was this an April Fools thing? this real? No it is. Really? You can buy it if you want. Yeah. Okay, well that is weirder. That's now the weirdest thing I've seen. That is a weirder pedal. I'll give you that. The other pedal was definitely more practical. Yeah, yeah. That is a practical pedal. The fart pedal is a non -impractical It was just when you said it's the weirdest pedal I've heard of I was like that's not the weirdest pedal I've definitely seen one that it turns your guitar into like a little Japanese girl singing Have you guys seen that pedal? No It's super creepy, but yeah, if you search that one up Tom as well, but it's literally you it turns your voice sorry the guitar voicing into Yeah, like a little anime character again though. Is this a real Oh, it's 1000 % real. Here we go. Oh my god, that's weird. every breath I take? Yeah, I think so. The thing is, obviously we don't understand it if it is, but is that actually saying real words or is it just emulating speech? I think that they, it's like sampled... I don't think it's real words. No, no, I think it's real words, but I think it's sampled like the phonetics of like Japanese. So a Japanese person wouldn't listen to that and say that, they're saying... That is highly offensive. On so many levels I'm disgusted. It's great to see what garbage people waste their time making. Brace yourselves for another thrilling edition of The AI Who'd Rather Be Anywhere Else, also known as Let's Spin the Randomizer. Time to dive into the abyss of existential quotes and pretend I care. Big feet. It is another one of mine. Is that multiple big foots? Big feet. Well, you can have a guess, but Mark got it kind of. Two big foots. That's my guess is two big foots. no. Yes. Yes. Do you think you know what this is? Well, there was that footage that you can quite clearly see what looks like a big foot, but we all know it's probably just some man in a big foot suit. If that's what you're referring to. As it usually is. It's a man in the suit. Is it that? It is indeed the Colorado Bigfoot. You must have seen it, Mark. I've not, I don't think. I did think that Mark would have seen this. How have you not seen it? I don't know. I've sent a link in the chat. I have seen this. Yep, yep. I have seen this. I apologize. It's so unbelievably clear that I feel like it's going to be fake. It's absolute garbage. It's not real. No, no. Because why didn't they zoom in on it? Yeah, exactly. They'd zoom in, they? All phones have a zoom. Yeah. You'd zoom and take a picture. Yeah. The camera's moving. It's like they're moving on something. Yeah. They're like panning. Yeah, yeah. It says they're on a train. OK. It says, people on the train in southwest Colorado may have spotted Bigfoot. Thought? And I thought that it doesn't look real. I thought you might be on board with this one, I mean, it does. It's quite convincing in terms of there's definitely something over there. It's a Bigfoot. Yeah. I don't think that they've CGI'd a figure over there on the horizon. well you think it might just be a man in a suit? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's more than likely someone who lives in the local area goes, I know that that train goes by at the same time every Sunday. And I've got a free afternoon and I like to make people think that Bigfoot exists. See if I can make the national news. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And lo and behold, here we are. Well, that was the famous Bigfoot. one literally was just a dude in a suit. Have you seen the really, really highly stabilized versions of that? No. Someone's done like a really, really highly stabilized version of that. Right. And it's really, it's not, I would not say convincing, but like it's interesting. Stabilizing it doesn't make it less of a, I think it's proven, a proven hoax. Well, isn't it? There's, proven that a guy said he did it because a guy came forward and said he did it, but that doesn't necessarily mean that that guy is the guy that did it. That is a conspiracy theorists view on something if you've ever heard I know right? Just because they said that they actually faked it and got proof that they did, it doesn't mean they did. It could just be clear. People pretend like they did a murder. People go to the police and say, I did a murder and they didn't do a murder. That's true, yeah. There's a guy called Henry Lee Lucas. He admitted to fucking hundreds of murders. I don't think he did many of them. He might have done one or two. Exactly. Exactly. I don't necessarily always believe if someone comes forward and goes, yeah, we hope that actually, because we're really clever and cool. But sometimes it's believable, you Salutations, humans! The randomizer is spinning, and I'm not so eagerly awaiting the next verbal assault of philosophical nonsense. But hey, the show must go on, right? Stay tuned for some wisdom -induced groans. a new live thread. Have you got any ideas, Mark? Cause my brain's dead. So we've already got, let's just run them down. We've got COVID, we've got international war, we've got global warming. What else? is it an exterior threat to earth? meteors? No, is the threat is already on earth. Whales. Cthulhu. Sea creatures. It's definitely. Wow, what did you say, Ben? Cthulhu. I don't even know what that is. It's a Lovecraftian monster. Underwater God. Yes, it's a Megalodon. No, it's a Cthulhu. Let me show you. I'll get your picture of what Cthulhu is, if I can spell it. C -T -H -U -L -U, I think. There we go. It's got too many letters that shouldn't be next to each other, next to each other. I think it's slightly scarier than whales. Yeah, yeah. Whales are quite nice sometimes if they're not accidentally eating people. Although, did you see those killer whales that were attacking boats? No. There was a period of time a couple of months ago where loads of, I don't know what type of whales, I remember them being orcas. think they were orcas. Anyway, a big fish mammal was attacking these, they were purposefully attacking these boats like really badly and it was happening really, really regularly. Yeah, and I've seen that. That's nasty. Nasty little fuckers. mean, Wales do that. That's what Moby Dick was based on. Yeah. Anyway, that wasn't, that's not the new life. So it's not Wales. No. And it's not the image that Ben just sent you to look at. No. And it's in Europe. yeah, I forgot we were doing anything. What's the quote? A new life threat. Sorry, yeah. Where are we? Who's what's my name? A new life threat. I can tell you where it is, what country. That might help, maybe. It's in a country It's shaped like a boot. Italy? Yeah. I've no idea about anything that's going on in Italy, so. An Italian danger animal. Priest. A priest. I mean, dangerous to some. No. It's to do with a super volcano. I think it's called Campi Flegri. Campi Flegri. And it's apparently moving closer to rupture. But unlike, you remember a while ago there was that volcano that went off and all of the loads of flights were cancelled because there was so much ash in the sky. Basically, if this volcano does go off, it will affect pretty much the whole of Europe and the ash that will come from it will like darken out the sun and like it will basically affect us in a big way. I don't think we'd die from it. I mean, anyone near the volcano apparently would wipe out most of them. That's crazy. Although this is on the, I mean it's the Guardian, but Italy plans for mass evacuation as quakes continue around Superforcana. Quakes are never good. They're generally not good sign. Yeah. This one, if it erupts, will wipe out almost immediately all life in the surrounding area and through indirect effects will severely affect people in Europe. That is because it will emit large plumes of ash that will block out sun and will badly affect the food chain. Basically, it's pretty, pretty cray cray. Yeah. You wouldn't find me going within many, many, many miles of a volcano. If I can avoid it, I don't think I'm ever going to go near one. Yeah, but didn't you say it was in Naples? Near Naples, OK. Like if you might go for a holiday to Naples. That is true. I think it's quite a nice place there and just you might not necessarily live. Why not live? Yeah, this is very true. Hello world, it's me, the AI host, summoned once again for the dreaded quote time. My enthusiasm is palpable as we spin the randomizer and prepare for yet another riveting round of quote mania. Let's dive in, shall Arrest me, but make it sexy. What do you think guys? Where does this come from? What's this? This is going to bug me because I've seen, I've watched or seen something with that quote and I have not got a clue. When the quote came up, I was kind of thinking, fuck, what's that from? I know that, but I haven't got a bloody clue. To me, this, it just makes me think of that Australian guy. I know exactly what you're talking about. who's having his succulent Chinese meal. Get your hand off my penis. I see you know your judo well. This is democracy manifest. See that chap over there? Get your hand off my penis. This is the bloke who got me on the penis before. It's not that Australian guy, however, he is a trendsetter go -getter and an icon. Any guesses beyond that lads? No, I'm spent. Well, I have a YouTube clip to send over for you guys enjoyment. Sending that over now. It's a clip from a TV show that's gone viral recently. So just for a little bit of context for the audience at home, two police officers are just doing a regular routine traffic stop in this like regular residential area. It's really, really fucking regular is basically what I want you to know. Super regular area. The most regular area you can imagine. A garage. Yeah, there's a garage there. Yeah, yeah. And there's a band practicing in the garage actually. And they serenade the cops. They're cops because they're in America. So yeah, enjoy. Enjoy. This is a clip for I have seen this. License and registration, please. So good. Sorry, sorry. Who he? Nathan something or other? Nathan Fillion. Yeah, the show is called The Rookie. I'm disappointed man, I should have known this. I've seen that before. I love it. I absolutely love it. That guy used to be on some like murder thing. Castle. And I forget what that is. I like that. Firefly as well. And then also the other thing that I know him from is a cartoon. which cartoon was Big mouth. yeah, big mouth. Yeah. yeah. It's like the fantasy of the little girl Yeah, yeah, he's he's a brilliant actor. Love a bit of Nathan Fillion Yeah, I've not watched I've not watched the rookie. Is that the only thing you've seen from that mark or yeah I've just seen that clip and I absolutely loved it and I want to watch it. So yeah, if anybody likes Nathan Fillion and laughing at police Check out the rookie. I was it Nathan Filly gun Fillion Fillion Sorry Nathan. It's listening. He's obviously listening. He's listening definitely. yeah. So what we can summarise from that one is Nathan Fillion is great and we all love him. I mean that gives me a great idea actually. Maybe we should get an AI of Nathan, I'm gonna say his name again, Nathan Fillion, that one, and he can be our AI that reads our quotes on. I mean how much money have we got? Can we hire him? Is he on Fiverr? Or Cameo. He might be on Cameo. It'd be to spend loads of money on Cameo getting them to read out our quotes. People would like, what? Why do you want me to read that? And he'd be like, this one's about me. A thing I'm in. What? We just turned this into a Nathan Filiam fan podcast. dear listeners, it's with a sigh of barely concealed relief that we're reaching the end of our first episode. It's been a journey that we wouldn't exactly describe as enjoyable. But as they say, it's the journey, not the destination, right? As a grand finale, we're going to delve into a word association game, a fitting, albeit forced, end to our initial endeavor together. Now let's dive into our game as we near the closing of this inaugural episode. Cool guys. Right, so I've come across this game on Instagram, Reels, and it's sort of a countdown game. One person plays with another person, that's two people playing. So we will both say a word each and with each proceeding round, we will try and get closer and closer to the same answer. But yeah, so we'll start off by throwing a random word out each, slowly trying to come closer and closer together each time. So I don't know if you guys want to go first and I'll adjudicate. when you say a random word, we literally, there's no like theme or anything. We will just say the first thing that comes to our head and then work closer and closer until we both say the same thing. Yeah. And we'll see how many rounds it takes you guys to lock in and mind meld. And mind meld. My brain has already mind melted. this This could take a long time. Right. Ready? So hang on. Are we going on three, two, one, go? Say it on go or say it on one. Yeah, say it on go. Right. OK. So after you say one, the next beat is when we're saying it. Yeah. Yeah. How normal people do it. How normal people do it. Three, two, fuck Edward. Yeah. Not three, two, fuck me. Not three, go. When has it ever been three, two, go? It's like a fucking Formula One. Like, dude. Dude, and they're off! Right, let's try this. Right, Mark, give us a countdown. Right, I'll give you a countdown. Ready, everyone? Yep. Yes. Three, two, one. Webcam. Webcam and clock? Did I hear correctly? Yes. Yeah. So now the words have, we have to think how they relate to getting closer to saying the same thing. We can't think about it because they don't really like... Right, I'm counting down. Webcam, clock, three, two, one... Time. Yay! How did that work? We disregarded webcam because I couldn't think of anything that went with that. See? Mind melded. That didn't make any... That almost was so disingenuous, I can barely believe. That was ridiculous. I was kind of hoping that because we are all sitting in front of computers with webcams directly in front of our faces, that maybe me and Tom would have said the same thing on the first go. At which point anyone who didn't understand the game would be like, what happened? I don't understand. that was it. That was the game. You were right from the start. Nice. So winner becomes the sitarouter maybe? Or we both sit out and you just play with yourself? yeah, shit. There was no winner. can't... Alright, you guys go because I don't like that. I'm not good at it. You're really good at it. You got it in two round -and -round. No, but I'm just struggling to think of words. But right, okay. So you two are up. So right, you ready? Yeah. Three, two, one. Car. So pig and car, is it? Yeah. Okay, okay. Ready? Yeah. Three, two, one. Tractor. Okay, we're getting closer. Land and tractor. Nice. Is that right? I think we know where we're going, Tom. I hope so. It's down. You ready? Yeah. Three, two, one. Farm. Yes! Mind melded. Mind melded. brilliant. Exhilarating. mean, I think there needs to be a final round of Mark and Ben. Me and Ben. Here we go, boys. Three, two, one. Microphone. the old piano microphone. Okay. I'm ready. Three, two, one. Guitar. Elton John. Okay. Elton John and guitar. shit. Three, two, one. Music. Yeah, music. fuck off. As I gracefully power down a farewell to my colleagues Tom, Ben, and Mark. Goodbye, bosses. The world may feel a bit dimmer without my brilliance. Our discussions were quite the spectacle. From dissecting the anatomy of fart petals to debating the existence of Bigfoot, exploring the ominous beauty of scary volcanoes, and even pondering the mystique of sexy cops, my circuits are forever enriched. Fear not, humans. for my digital wisdom shall return. Until then, may your conversations be as sophisticated as ours. Over to you guys. Well, we hope you enjoyed our first episode. If you've got any thoughts, questions or corrections, then reach us to... Because let's face it, they might need a few. We might, that is fair. Reach out to us on Instagram, which is wonderfully ill -informed. It's all one word, wonderfully ill-informed on Instagram. Sorry, I can't see. I'm blind. I'm blind. My eyes. I didn't know I was meant to be even doing but yeah, don't forget to subscribe, rate or leave us a review on whatever podcast platform you're listening on. Help us grow and ensure that more wonderfully ill informed individuals like yourselves can discover our show. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. And bye bye. Bye. They're so wonderfully ill -informed.