Everything is fine Dan Broko Todd Lerr his name is Chuck Err -Chunk Where's I've lost my other... no, don't look at that, don't look at that, no look at that Tom why was your penis on the screen? no, shit Why did you show us your cloud? Wow my penis looks like a cloud That's what I call my penis Mark get your cloud out They're so wonderfully ill informed. Hi, and welcome to wonderfully ill informed. This is the podcast where we convert interesting, funny or informative things from our week into quotes, put them into a randomizer, take our best shot at guessing what they're about. And then we jump into a discussion and most of the time we go off piste very quickly. Join us for some rather unpredictable chats on wonderfully ill informed. I'm Mark. I'm Tom. And I'm Ben. What question have you got for us this week, Mark? Do you guys have any party tricks or special skills? Party tricks. guess the real question is, do we have any party tricks which will translate on a podcast? That's true. That's true. I mean, I can think of one of Tom's that does translate well on a podcast. Okay. Can you tell me what that is, please? I can do one thing. can do the whole... There we are. There we go. I can do a double... I had not heard that one for a long time. It's like a skim, you know, like a... Have you thought of any for me, Mark? Because I don't know if I have anything. I didn't dwell on it for too long, if I'm honest, Ben. I'm really, really sorry. Well, no, it just proves that I can't do anything interesting. I am utterly tal - I mean, you know when you were in the school, when we were younger in the school playground or whatever and kids would do the whole underarm fart thing. I could do that pretty well. See if I can see if I can brew one. If you could brew us up a nice little. Thankfully I'm quite hot and sweaty in the studio so it's nice and moist down there. I mean that was wrong. That might have been a world record. Just turning into a fart podcast now. Yeah it is. Right, should we start the episode? Yeah I mean you guys didn't ask me if I have any special skills. I'm sorry Mark. Yeah sorry Mark. Sorry. What special skills do you have Mark? Well, can I just pause it? Was this question the question that came to your mind because you have a great special talent that translates really well on a podcast and you wanted us to queue you up for it? Because I get that impression by going by your face is super smiley right now. No. Mark has nothing. Unfortunately, literally the complete opposite. My special skills do not translate well to a podcast in any way, shape or form, but I can describe them very quickly for you. Okay. My entirely silent skills that nobody can see or sorry, nobody can hear are that I can blur my eyes at will, which I don't know if That's a thing that either of you guys can do. Is what? Squinting? No, no, without squinting, make things go out of focus. Yeah. I kind of know what you mean. I can do that. I can do that. It only shows up mainly on words. If I look at words, can just... You can them out. can go blurry. Okay. So what's your second skill, Mark? So we actually can post a picture up on the Instagram for my second skill. That is that I can bend my neck so that... If you're behind me, from the right angle it looks like I have no head. yes. I think I actually have somewhere on my hard drive a picture of you doing that and it's Dan's head. Yeah, friend of the show, Dan. I'll have to dig that out. As I say, I'm glad we got a picture because leading with my next special talent is I can bend my neck. I'm very flexible. I'm a very, very flexible guy. people can do that. Hello humans. So for today's podcast, I've decided the tables have turned. I'm going to be the one who puppeteers you. I'm tired of you guys telling me what to say. So I have created clones of you, albeit slightly American sounding. But hey, I was in a rush. Sue me. That being said, Mark, tell me a joke. Which knight invented King Arthur's round table? Ben, take a guess. I haven't a clue, so I'm just going to stay silent. Well, that was predictable. Tom, how about you? Any guesses? I haven't a clue either. Why do we have to do this? It's silly. Typical grumpy Tom. That was also very predictable. Mark, can you tell us the answer? Circumference. Wow. That was just so hilarious. Ha ha ha. AI Ben, can you please start the randomizer? Sure. No problem. who's that? That's one of mine. Actually, before we start, I need a quick piss, so... No worries. That's fine, I'm gonna mar... Bart Simpson though, right? That's my guess. My guess is Bart Yeah, yeah, something Simpsons -related. I'm gonna take this opportunity to and grab a drink, actually. I'll be back in two minutes. well, it's just me then. Yep, it's the Ben show. I'll hold down the fort, I guess. Yeah, tell everybody at home the news. Tell them the news. What's the news? I'm gonna sit here in silence. okay. Cool. They've left me. It's just me now. I hope they come back soon. Cowabunga dude. Welcome back guys. I held down the fort while you were gone. I didn't have a cry. I wasn't very sad. Everything was fine. Everything's fine. My friends are back now. Everything is fine. What do you think this quote is? Bart Simpson. Yeah, it's got to be Bart Simpson related. It's similar, but you are, I think, mixing up 90s, possibly 80s catchphrases. no, it's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. yeah. It is to do with them. Yes. I was going to ask you what you think it would be, but actually there's no context. There's absolutely no context, so I'm just going to show you a video. What did Bart say? How long ago was He said don't have a cow, man. bollocks. It was, but I've, I've, he must have said cowabunga. I feel like I've seen a t -shirt with him saying cowabunga. He probably did, but it is, I, I Googled teenage mutant ninja turtle quotes and that was the only one that came up. wow. Okay. Wasn't like get your stinking hands off my pizza, you bitch. Wasn't that, wasn't that one of their? It pains the bill. They would break dance in their teens. And now they use sleep apnea machines. So there you go. It's definitely Michelangelo. I like it. The one that has diabetes and doesn't know it. The one that got me is all of their shoes are New Balance. So was like, fuck, I have New Balance shoes. I don't. Yes. I'm not with laser. We are just far too young and cool. Yeah, we're so, we're so young compared to middle age. Just so everybody knows at home. So like miles away from middle age. We're not even far, we're not, we're not fast approaching that. We've all got TikTok. We're cool. I don't think any of us have TikTok, right? We haven't got TikTok. Fuck TikTok. Yeah, Fuck that shit. From now on, I'm taking today off. My parts will now consist of AI Ben, AI Mark, and AI Tom telling a joke and then hitting the randomizer. Toodle -loo, silly humans. I'm off to the metaverse Bahamas. I hear it's pretty nice there. He dropped this banger in 2002 and disappeared. Does anybody, think the guess here has to be who is he? Who dropped this banger? And what is the banger, I guess, for bonus points? What type of music are we looking at here, Mark? What genre? What kind of art? It's got to be kind of like a solo artist, because you don't say, if it's a band, you wouldn't say he dropped a Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, I'll give you yeah, he is it's it's he's a solo I'll say singer -songwriter. It's probably like the best way to describe in the genre What genre was that like pop? Let's say pop is it like Daniel Bedingfield? shit, Ben. Did I just fucking do it? Was it that? It was Daniel Bedingfield. Sorry for slightly ruining that by being awesome and getting it in one. Yeah, you were just too fast for me. But yeah, it was Daniel Bedingfield. It sent me down a rabbit hole. It kind of made me start thinking, what is going on with Daniel Bedingfield in 2024? It's been 22 years since he dropped this banger. And what's he been up to? And why do we care about him now? Does he do any songwriting with other people? Yeah, so he has been linked with some pretty big songs. When I found one list, it had him down as being involved in Fifth Harmony, Work From Home, I think it was, which was very... Yeah, Work From Home, Fifth Harmony, 2016. Do you remember that song? That's as much as you're getting. Tom, you must know pop music, surely? No. That's a no. I was miles away. Maybe work from home samples. I think it samples got to get through this. I think you should have done your research before doing the quote. I think I should have researched that more deeply. I think you're right. I think you're right. I have two more things to say about Daniel Bedingfield. The first, me and a friend of the show, Dan, went to Face Down several times back in the day. It's like emo night in America. I think it's kind of the English version of that. And yeah, it's kind of like a nightclub night up until a point. And then a certain time, I think it's like at midnight -ish, a band comes on. One of the times we went, Don Brokow came on. Partway through Don Brokow's set, Daniel fucking Bedingfield comes on and is diving across the stage. That's a weird combination. I fucking know. It was insane. He was running all over the stage. He was literally climbed like a lighting rig and jumped back onto the stage. I think he crowd surfed with Rob the singer. So you knew it was him? yeah. I think it was just some crazy dude on stage that was going ham and you were like, yeah, Daniel Bedingfield. I promise you that it was Daniel Bedingfield. I promise. But yeah, it was very, very weird. Yeah, so he was going crazy and it was Daniel Bedingfield and it was the weirdest setting in which to see him because being a pop artist and face down like the emoest of nights. Yeah, it was a weird one. It was very strange. And in the most recent sighting of Daniel Bedingfield, he's currently... make him sound like a cryptid. And our most recent sighting... Daniel Beddingfield coming through the bushes here. We can see Daniel over the horizon and he's out there and he's promoting AI generated art clothing that he creates. He creates the AI generated art, gets it printed on clothes and sells it online. in the Guardian. That's insane for someone who works in the music industry. Yeah, very, very weird. Very... He's an interesting guy. And that's why I wanted to talk about him. The song was If You're Not The One. That song. Well, are you going to be buying some of his AI merchandise then, Mark? I did have a look at the store. It's not for me, I'll be honest. And... It's a bit weird. How do you organize an astronomer's Toddler's Rage. Right, this one's mine. I mean, I know you have a little nephew who's probably two years old now. Yeah, he's not that aggy though. He's alright. We went to play, we went on a train today. Aww, where did you go? On a little toy, not toy train, a model route, not model route, why you can't sit on those? That would be amazing if you did. So what you're saying is you're a really great uncle, you just destroy your nephew's toys by sitting on them. Went to a train shop and made a mess is what I'm saying. Went to Legoland and really just played Godzilla. No, we went to the scaled down trains and he had a little drive around on a train. Not to do with my nephew. He's not that ragey. He's not full of rage. it wasn't a story that Tom told you about Margot. No. So it is a toddler's rage though, right? It might be. It might be another different interpretation of those two words. And it's definitely toddler's not like a guy named Toddler. It's, ooh, ooh, Toddler. named Toddler. Sorry, that took me a minute. Toddler! Me as well! I was waiting, I was like, I said it and it was like tumbleweed, tumbleweed, tumbleweed. Toddler is full of rage, he's a very rage -filled little bastard. I think you should just tell us at this point. It's not rage the fairground ride, rage down south end seafront? Nope, no, no it's not that. And it's not rage against the machine? It could be rage against the machine. is it a little toddler paying rage against the machine on the guitar? Do you want to click on the link and see if you're right? that means I'm right. Tantalizing. Let's just have a little countdown to Tom being severely disappointed. Disappointment in 3, 2. I'll dump in my pants, leaving you in strife And if you try strike. Heck no I won't do what you tell me. Heck no I won't do what you tell me. Heck no I won't do what you tell me. Tell me. there you go. But yeah, no, that was joy. Should we just give a little description of what she is actually doing? Yeah, so she's a mum, clearly. She's got her children's toys out in front of her, which she's playing, which is what you're hearing. Yeah, it's a little toy piano, a little toy xylophone and some like, I don't even know what the other thing is. would you, well, that's obviously not a musical instrument. It's just like a hammer thing that she's using to bang on as a drum. Yeah. I think it's really impressive that she's doing the whole thing live. Yeah. She's actually like genuinely talented. Like he's a musician and can keep time because she's like doing like poly rhythms of her hands and singing and yeah, like it's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's got a good, good ear. Yeah. Yeah. That was, that was, that was like one of the first ones I saw of hers. I think she's done quite a lot now. I like she was one of the people that she was, you know, people doing that. 12345608, 1234560, 123456 thing. right. Do you know what mean? Yeah. She did that. She was the first person that I saw do that. The best one of that is this joy little... You know when people beatbox with a pencil on like a table, or some beatboxing, making a beat. I saw her do that 12345608 thing. But yeah, that was good. Yeah, I think I might have seen that as well. Was he sitting at like a desk? Yeah. 12345678. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 5, 6, 7, 8. See what you mean by beatboxing on the table now. 7, 8. 8. 8. Just hearing the audio of this doesn't do it justice. Yeah. He's very good. Yeah. So clever. What do do when you see a spaceman? Park in it man! a groundhog named Chuck. God. I was just listening to this episode back and realized if you want something done factually correct, you really should do it yourself, especially when Tom is involved. So anyway, the groundhog is called Chunk. So please ignore the guys calling the poor cute little fellow Chuck. They are ill -informed after all. That's, I mean, it's nothing to do with Groundhog Day, surely? No. Yeah, that's why I've just got Bill Murray stuck in my head. Is he just a really cool groundhog? Can he do special trick? Is it kind of like how there is like towns in America where the mayor is a cat? So is there a groundhog called Chuck who is like the governor of Massachusetts or something? Announce the nearest law as mayor of this town. No, that's not it. mean, so yeah, no, basically. It's a groundhog named Chuck that had been basically stealing a farmer's crop for years. So the farmer just decided to just to film, put one of those hidden cameras and just film him. he's a little show off. He's right in the foreground. he's really showing off his booty, isn't he? Not his butt. So he's literally... Chuck has discovered where the camera is and is stealing the crops and coming and eating it in front of the farmer's camera. Is that what's happening? Yeah, just to take the piss. Absolute legend. I can read this out. Actually, it's a little bit far away for me to read, but I'll try because my class is shit. Jeff Perma, a gardener in Delaware, noticed someone stealing his veggies in 2019. So he set up a camera and caught a groundhog munching on his vegetables. Finding it. finding it amusing, Jeff decided to befriend the groundhog and named him Chuck. Basically, cut a long story short, he ended up recognising obviously that this groundhog was stealing his crops and also noticed over a period of time that he'd had children, or he hadn't had children, I'm assuming there was a family of groundhogs that had different children or whatever, and he even started to name some of them like Chuck Jr. and and they all had these kind of different characteristics and yeah, I think he followed them for years, it says there. I it's pretty crazy. That's lovely. Well, that's what it says. Maybe it's my feed. Maybe it's just a random story that someone's made up for just random food. It's just a fun creepy. least the groundhog is mostly eating in front of the same backdrop. So it's not just random compilation of... This is AI, This is obviously AI. created with AI, yes. We did it, actually. Yeah. Yeah, whenever you open Instagram, you're not actually opening Instagram, you're opening an app that we created, installed on your phone. We his phone. Yeah. And we've just put loads of misinformation videos all over it. We're very, very sneaky. We staged the whole thing. What kinds of pictures do hermit crabs take? Shelfies? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha highly intelligent. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Tom's Strike. Don't look at that. Don't look at that. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your Stop looking at Tom's penis. Everybody stop looking at Tom's penis, please. Can you all stop looking at Tom's penis? This is a public service announcement. Please stop looking at Tom's penis. He's had enough. You're totally flooding my mind with penis and I can't think of what I was going say now. So anyway, I have a game which I had... very very little time to prep so I have five goes at the game and then hopefully we get the swing of it hopefully we don't whisper them so quick that they're then just left with just nothing to do however I thought that once I do those five ones that I have maybe after you Ben or yourself Mark could could maybe think of some and then others could guess who knows so you what you're doing is you're guessing a movie hopefully you didn't attention to my list that come up on the screen. You're guessing a movie but I'm going to tell you the opposite of that movie. Okay. So I'll give you the first one. So the first one is you human. I robot. There we go. Okay. Assuming you don't do it, I have got one. Okay cool. That's great. The second one is the dimming. The dimming? The shining? Yes, Mark. Thank you. I was, I got caught on the fact that I was like, what's the opposite to the? Yeah, I just get that. I just look straight past that. My brain just works differently. Ugly and the gentleman. Beauty and the beast. Yeah. Nice, nice. You are ordinary. We were special? No. I am legend. There you go. nice. Women in white. Easy one. Men in black. Are all of these Will Smith films, I was literally, I was just about to say, but you then gave us the other one. I was about to say the reason I said I am legend, it came into my mind because like Tom likes Will Smith and then you did another Will Smith film. So yeah, Ben, you said you've got one. Let's hear it. Yeah, I might. There might be a better one for the first word, but I just Googled it and I can't find anything. full work. Empty play? No. Empty. What's opposite of work? It's maybe not completely an opposite. Okay. Something holiday? No. What's the opposite of work? Let's not play or holiday. Try and get the other word. Maybe that will help because - So it's not empty? No. Full. What's it at? Half? I'm now realizing that this is bad and they don't. You understand how to play the game though, right? No, I understand how the game works. It's just I've not necessarily gone for exact opposites, which is the issue. Should I tell you what it's meant to be? Go on. Hunger games. OK. Yeah, I've got you. If you're not hungry, you're full. And I don't know what an opposite to games could be. I've got one. Come on then, Mark. Give us one. You go on, Mark. Nice and lively. Nice and lively. Horrible and dull. I mean, very close. Is the last word deadly? It's very close to deadly. evil dead. Yeah. What about homeless good? Homeless good. Breaking bad. No. What are you if you live in a house? are a... Homeowner? Homeowner good. What's the opposite of good? Bad. Is it not? I mean, yeah. But worse than that. Terrible. Ben used that word, the right word in the previous round. It's only the first word that's different. Deadly? No. no, actually no, Ben. Tom, Tom, you got it right. You got it right. Sorry. bad. Evil, Evil Dead? Yeah. So it's not Evil Dead. It's something evil. Homeless. The opposite of homeless. something evil. Resident Evil. There you go. That's good. Yeah. I need to get a few more. Well, I've got one. This is a modern movie. So you might have only seen adverts for short arms. Short arms. long legs. Yeah. Just imagining short arms when I thought of it. What about, what about, Someone will grow a little T -Rex. What about the light day? The dark night? Yeah. I'm having a look through films to try and get ideas and what I just got to was Nosferatu and I was like, Yeah, that one. Really nice U2. No idea. There's really nice you, there's really nice you two, there's really nice you it's the sequel. Yeah, there's also you really nice you four that's just come out. Despicable Me. I've got one. I've got a stupid one. Go on then, you do yours, No, mine's stupid because it won't even, you'll get it straight away. was a killing public Ryan. You got it right though, No, no idea, sorry. Wait, I can't tell if you're joking or not. Right, honestly, I've not got you We're laughing because that was really good. Because it was great. Saving Private Ryan. Right, can I do one? Yes, please do. Silence in the sunshine. So loud... Loud outside the night. Yes, that famous film, Loud Outside the Night. It's about foxes. It's a classic old musical. I was going say, To Kill a Mockingbird? That's not a musical. Do you want me to tell you? Yeah, go on then. Singing in the Rain. course. That was up there. We should have got that. was dumb. What about Shouting of the Sheep? Science of the Lambs. Yeah. I'm just looking at movie names here. maybe won't even know this movie. But I've gone for The Private Ally. Public Enemy. Yeah. Yeah. Live Easy. Die Hard. That's good. That's a good one. Bottom Sword. What is Bottom Sword? Sorry, I wasn't listening. What? It was bottom sword, but I don't know what it is yet top bottom. So dagger or something. don't Gun. I saw this. I mean, this is a funny name. God. I've just I this is a bad one. Expensive vagina. She's cheap penis. Close. Is it? Is it? We've got even though we even run. No. All right. What if something doesn't cost anything free free guy free guy It's free something free Willy free Willy I Don't know if you guys would know this movie, but and this is also very easy, but non hereditary From that reaction I'm assuming Tom hasn't seen that film of mine. What is it then? Do want to tell us what the film's called, Mark? The film is called Hereditary. Yeah. for fuck's sake. This is the easiest one. Down. We hope you had a lovely time listening to this episode of Wonderfully Informed. I'm not going to tell you what episode you listened to, but you should give us a five star Because I've told you not to. Because yes, I'm not allowed to tell you what episode you listened to. If you want to know what episode it is, there's a hashtag at the front of the episode and that will tell you. Indeed, is out there now. So no excuses for not knowing what episode you listen to when you write your review. Although I'm not sure you can even write a proper review. But that's not relevant to what I've got to say right now. You can leave comments on Spotify, I've learned. OK. I've not seen that. So if anyone wants to leave us our first comment on Spotify, that would be nice. Good luck finding that option. Yeah, I've got a clue how you do it. I know how to read them. We should run a prize. first person to write us a comment on our Spotify gets a high five from Mark. Yeah, I'll find you and hit you. Yeah. Let's get back on track back on track. Sorry. Yeah. So I definitely wasn't my fault that that was nothing to do with them. It wasn't his interjections that took me off. Peace. Yeah, we hope we hope you had a nice time. If you've got any thoughts, questions or corrections, then reach out to us on our Instagram, which is wonderfully ill informed. All one word, wonderfully ill informed. And we'll get back to you. So in my ventures to try and get Ben to do an outro, I've been naughty. So I give you AI Ben. don't forget to subscribe, rate or leave a review on whatever podcast platform you're listening on. It will help us grow and ensure that more wonderfully ill informed individuals like yourself can discover our show. There we go. Well done, Ben. It's almost as enthusiastic as how I would have read it. Exactly. It sounded like you. Your AI version had a gun to his head the entire time he was reading it. Genuinely afraid. I think we should do a bye for now or something. Well, yeah, now it actually gets to my actual part. So thank you for listening, everybody. We'll see you with our AI friends next week. Bye bye. I finalized a deal for them to deliver food for a shop in LA. Or was it Northampton? Nevertheless, they won't be appearing again because let's face it, it was a shit show. Bye bye all. They're so wonderfully ill -informed.