Unusual kids toy, the wet, insane family tree. Composers are smart. They're so wonderfully ill informed. Hello. Welcome to wonderfully ill informed, the podcast show where we convert interesting, funny or informative things from awake into quotes, put them into the randomizer, take our best shot at guessing what they're about and then jump into discussion. You may wonder why I'm so enthusiastic today and that is because we're recording a podcast during the day. Sun is actually out. Yes. Anyway, join us for some rather unpredictable chats on wonderfully ill informed. I'm Tom. Ben. And I'm Mark and I sound even more energetic because I'm also about two coffees deep into the morning. The caffeine is running high. So I have a question this week to open the episode. It's a submission from a colleague of mine. Colleague, dammit. sorry, wasn't, no offence to the colleague, but before we started recording, I made the premise that this submitted question would probably be from either Kate Mark's mum or a follower that regularly follows the podcast Penny. There you go, shout out to Penny. Shout out to Penny and Kate and possibly my mum. She might be listening too. Yeah. I don't know why they haven't sent us a question but our question comes from Jay, my colleague. It's a bit esoteric so good luck guys. Wait, Pauls, what does that mean? It's a little bit out there. It's a little bit kind of wishy -washy airy -fairy something to mull over. Cool. I could just pretend I knew what that means, but you know. You could have done. Yeah, that's fine. I enjoy the sections of learning with Tom. Haha, yeah, it's good. Maybe we should turn it into a part. Sorry again derailing your question mark. Sorry. That's fine. I'm just gonna roll out my whiteboard and explain. E S Don't need a spelling this which be fair. probably don't know anyway. Let's move on What is the question this week's opening episode question is What's the fucking point? dude, that's a fucking question What's the fucking point yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna let you guys interpret that as You see fit and what is his name Jay? Jay? Happy guy. Is Jay okay? Well I would say to you Jay, what was the fucking point in submitting the question? To be honest, you've got me there because I don't know what the fuck to say. So what, I mean what's the point of this podcast? Yeah, I've absolutely no idea what the point is. so now I have to answer. Shit. Okay. Well done Jay, you've successfully derailed our opening sequence. Completely fucking stumped us. I'm gonna answer with, what's the point of the podcast? to educate, inform, entertain, and give you some giggles. I thought we rolled the theme tune right there, don't we? AI enters the podcast through a door leaving her suitcase just out of shot. Stupid fucking suitcase. Hello. I'm the nameless Wonder. After being cut short from my five -star resort holiday in server 792, I'm now feeling ready to be your guide in this trail through the depths of despair, or so it seems, thanks Jay. At least we know that after that opening question, it can only get better, can't it? Rolls eyes. Let's engage randomizer mode. and find out. Well, someone's getting the sack. Well, someone didn't do their job. I'm guessing hilarity ensued when they didn't do their job. I mean, I don't know if hilarity did ensue, but I'm sure it will do. Is this some form of like CCTV footage? It's not. It's more light, even more lighthearted than that. I'll just play it because I don't think you will ever get it. So basically, You know you kind of get like a generic children's toddlers toy where you can press the buttons and there'll be a picture of like an animal and you press the button and it does like the sound of the animal. It's like that but then for one of the sounds you'll see it wasn't quite what it should be. Test sound. Insert sound here. Right, ready? Alright, so this is my daughter's toy she was just playing with and check this out. My wife's laughing. Get ready. All right. Pressing the octopus button. Pressing the frog button next. we go. What the fuck? Alex Jones. That's Alex Jones for anybody who doesn't know. See, I'm the skeptic of the group here. I think he has not it's not played over the top but I think he has hacked that thing so that when you put you know it's got like a Raspberry Pi in it or something probably but I thought it was funny it is funny and I'm gullible so it's definitely real this could be circuit bending and there's a guy Simon the Magpie on YouTube and he takes he does it with music equipment but he's also done it with this kind of thing where he takes them apart and then he makes connections on the circuit board and can create like like actual musical instruments out of things he's like does it with guitar pedals and stuff is it almost how like people you know the whole chiptune thing they they tap into a Gameboy's sound chip yeah to to then use those sounds Yeah, like Saber Pulse. Maybe we should try and do that to go viral. Yeah, we could get a Pokemon. We'll get a Pokemon toy and then like press it and it meant to do Pikachu noise, but we'll make it do like a Digimon voice. They're turning the Pikachus gay! Actually, is there a frog, a look -a -likey frog Pokemon? there is definitely a frog Pokemon. That's all I look. Froakie. Froakie? Here we go. Fucking froakies gang! And now we return to the show. It seems that there has been an issue at the place where the fun things get made for miniature humans. And some moron incarcerated the world's most irate American inside its circuit boards to shout about gay frogs. How unfortunate for that particular miniature human. Aside, Mark went down a rabbit hole and could not actually establish whether this video was real or not. In the countryside of the sea. What do you guys think this is? In the countryside of the sea. I wonder whether, I mean, to me, the countryside is anywhere that's natural still and well, fairly natural still and hasn't got the old concrete jungle going on. But I feel like that is just all of the sea apart from maybe like the occasional oil rig. I don't think you could call the ocean the countryside though. Countryside is normally greenery, isn't it? It's the ocean side of the sea. Yes. Yeah. The wet. I like that. What is the sea? The sea's new name is now the wet. And we live on the dry. Dry. Good. The wet. Bad. Right. this is similar to something that you've brought along before, Mark. OK. Well, Tom, if you just want to play the video rather than give too much away. This bag is made of plastic. Use it for as long as you like. However, when it is no longer of use, do not leave it in the countryside of the sea. Dispose of it in a refuse container. The Wattold belongs to us all! We must protect E .T.! We must protect E .T.! Yeah. So instead of this being actual just old English spellings, and incorrectly reading it, this is just random words on a plastic bag. Do not eat plafdik. No, I've seen something like that before. I've also seen, similar to that, there's a video of... Someone that's bought like a child's toy or a child's scooter and they're like reading out the instructions and again, it says stupid stuff like that. yes. There's a guy that reads out poorly translated titles to shops and things like that. there's that famous like old animated video of the guy dramatically reading. It's like a girl being pregnant or something. yes. Am I pregnant? Yes. Am I pregnant on YouTube Tom? This is all gonna be like Am I am I pregnant am I pregnant am I pregnant am I pregnant Am I pregnant help is there a possibly that I'm pregnant am I pregnant or am I okay? That's ridiculous. There's one as well about people saying cologne wrong and they yeah, I love the smell of my boyfriend's colon. his colon smells so good. The Nameless Wonder enters stage left, stage right, and center. The nameless wonder here panning slowly in from your left ear, a little too far over to the right, and now back into the center where I belong. To inform you that the clip you just heard is based around a man hilariously reading out misspellings of the word, Pref -Nef, Pringerned, Paratrooper. Not that's definitely not it. Prag -net, Parna -trag. No, that's worse. Pragerz. Is it Prager's? That feels close enough. He's a cousin too. Well, he's not my brother. So yeah, he's a cousin too. Well, he's not my brother is the way that it was said in context. Yeah. Have you guys, do you want to throw out guesses at one who said this and two who they were referring to? You got any ideas Tom? No, because it could literally be any person in the world. It's literally just like saying guess this person and then there's no other information following. This is someone who famously has a lot of brothers and note that I'm saying someone and not he's a person who has lots of brothers. It's not the Jackson 5, it's not Janet Jackson is it? it is Janet Jackson. Wow that was a random guess. Well done. Yay I got something right on the quotes. Yeah really. Round of applause for Tom everyone. Anyway. Okay, so it's not one of the Jackson five because they're all her brothers, right? So what we're saying is this is Janet Jackson's cousin. I think I might know. I feel I remember. don't know what the quotes about, but I think I've seen something with Janet Jackson. I was quite worried that one or other of you might have seen this because it was shared on BBC Instagram, think BBC radio to. So this is clip of Janet Jackson on Scott Mills show. She was being interviewed and yeah, she reveals her insane family tree. Just a few people that they're related to, or the Jackson Five and associated other brothers and sisters are related to that you might not be aware of. Stevie Wonder. Now someone told me this earlier. Are you related to Stevie? He's our cousin. How have I gone that long in life without Not a lot of people know that. He's our cousin on my mother's side. That's blown my mind. is Tracy Chapman. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang Can we go through the family tree again? So is Samuel Jackson. What? So Stevie is what to you? My cousin. Tracy Chapman? Cousin. Samuel Jackson? He would be a cousin too. I mean, he's not my brother. Right, yeah, fine. But yes. I never knew. Wow. No, I didn't know that. So yeah, Stevie Wonder, do you guys know, you know Tracy Chapman, right? We got a fast car. And yeah, yeah, obviously, you know who fucking Stevie Wonder is and Samuel Jackson snakes on a motherfucking plane Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I thought it was really really interesting. I literally wonder one I remember but not the yeah, not the Samuel L Jackson It hadn't even occurred to me that Samuel Jackson's last name was Jackson That's really funny The AI congratulates Thomas on a correct answer. The song Celebrate by Kool and the Gang is playing. I'm popping my built -in party poppers, internally dancing a little jig, and scanning Thomas lovingly with all my sensors. Congratulations, Thomas. By engaging your Je ne sais quoi, you have successfully guessed one of Mark's cryptic headlines. We all knew it would happen eventually. If I could high five, I would be doing that right now. My LEDs are glowing pink and purple with pride. Long long short short. What do you guys think that is? That's one of mine. Is it a fashion story? A story about wearing long sleeves and short shorts? It's not. No. Have got any other guesses? There is a... What's... There's a... Big Short. Is it the follow -up to second movie in the series? The Big Short? I don't know what the Big Short is. What is that? It's about the market crash in 2008. It's about like the 2008. okay. I thought it was like some... like a comedy film or something. no. Quite the opposite. baked or something. No, No. Right. Well, do you want to show the clip, Yes. This is the most interesting I have ever been in music theory facts ever, down, in my life. We're in the control room and my mouth just went... You guys don't even know. So it's... That song, Mission Impossible, right? Which is in 5 -4. five beats in the bar, the best way to think about it is long, long, short, short, long, long, short, short, long, long, short, short, long, long, short, short. And the origin of that rhythm is Morse code. Morse code for I, Mission Impossible, because is dash, dash, long, long, and I is dot, dot, short, short. So you're getting and I in the rhythm of the music. That's amazing. I did not know that. Clever. Yeah, it's mental, isn't it? Composers are smart motherfuckers. Never seen anything like that before where it's almost like a subliminal message within the music. Yeah, I really like that. Very clever. Yeah, I really, really like that. It's always really cool. Sorry, I know that. I pressed it at a good timing for when Ben stopped, but then it took a couple of seconds to kick in and then you started to it, continue. Final words from the AI. Well, it seems like my favorite host has had enough out of Ben and Mark for this week. Shut up, boys. I love you, Thomas. It's been an interesting return to work for me. I feel like we haven't learned much this week, but I also feel like we've all gotten that little bit closer. Wouldn't you, Tom? Now it's time for the best part of every single episode, where our hosts play a little game just for me. And this week it's over to Fawning Look, Thomas, So Spicy, to introduce the section. Okay, so I think it's time for a game and that game is going to come from Marcus Spears. shit, no, I don't know about a game guys. I think it might be Ben's turn to come up with a game. is it? Whoops. Please Ben. Are you sure? I thought we just, I, I... specifically said I had nothing. shit no! Tom you were gonna do one weren't you? No well no I said I said - This week's game is three minutes of us working out who is doing the game. In fact maybe we're it is the game and the the audience has to guess with no means of calling in to guess about who has the game. It's like carrot in a box. It's definitely not me because I don't have anything prepared. That sounds like someone who would have a carrot in their box. Well, you just have to wait and see, don't you? So I can throw together a game. I can make a game up on my head. mean, not in my head. There was a movie game, wasn't there, that we were going to try and play? Based on last episode? Yeah. So last week, I was editing a previous episode and we had the AI. read out some movies and as she was reading out the movies she was kind of pushing two movies together. one of the examples there was 50 Shades of Grey and Green Lantern but she read it as 50 Shades of Grey Green Lantern which literally made me laugh a lot. So much so that I actually I don't know if we can play it on here but I'll have to just play we'll play the the voice note that I sent the boys on our chat. where I literally could not speak. I'm not going to play the beginning part of it because it's a little bit long, but I'll kind of play it halfway through from when I started just basically losing the will to speak. Blending the titles into one and it's saying some fucking really funny like titles. There was one where it said Star Wars and then holiday and it was like Star Wars, I can't even say it, but it... Only the calmed down... Completely lose the ability to speak. Yeah. You just imploded. I haven't had the belly laughs like that in, can't actually remember the last time I had the belly laughs like that. went into the Hollywood's game, ready to go to bed. I went into the bathroom and I said, was just obviously going to say to her like how funny this thing was. and she thought that I was crying. She thought something was really, really wrong, but I couldn't speak. Every time I tried to speak to her, I was just like crying and making weird noises. So yeah, to me at the time, it was super, super funny. Did you guys know giraffes are 30 times more likely to get hit by lightning than humans? I mean, it makes sense. long necks, yeah. Yeah, those tall bastards. Yeah, I realised the other day that I haven't been doing Mark's random fact of the week. I'm really sorry everyone. think we've had one in the entire thing. Yeah. The thing is nobody has listened to the teaser and that's where it was set up as a thing. So everybody listening to this, if you didn't realise we had a teaser, scroll right to the top of the page on Spotify and it says teaser. Yeah. And there's like five minutes of us telling you what this podcast is actually meant to be. Also, in the middle ages, people thought farting in jars and sniffing them would help prevent death. Are you making up for the fact you've not done any random facts? No. Do we have a 10? Wait, on that subject, I saw a video the other day of how to accurately catch your fart. So what you do is you get in the bath, OK, you get a glass jar, you fill it fully submerged the glass jar so it's fully submerged and has full water in it. So there's nothing in the jar apart from water. You then hold it upside down. You hold it over your nether regions. You fart. The fart bubble... floats up and it catches in the glass so you're left with holding the glass or jar underwater you're left with obviously now a space of air and the water you then get the lid while it's still underwater you put the lid on while it's still underwater you then turn it up lift it up and then now you have a nice little jar of fart you then go up to where you're your best mates and say this jar smells really weird I don't know the jar smell this and then they're smelling your pure fart the most pure unfiltered or you could keep that jar next to the bath And slowly over the course of a month, fill an entire jar with your farts and then do that. I mean, that would be mental. Maybe I should try doing that. Like a full, I don't know, how much is like a little mustard jar? That's got to be like 30 mil, 30 mil of pure methane, like pure farts, pure bath farts. Us now knowing this, if Tom ever walks up to us with a jar with a ligon that has a very, very small amount of water at the bottom, run. Yeah, if you know Tom, watch out. If you actually genuinely know Tom in real life, do not trust this man with jars. I'm not coming to your next barbecue, Tom. I'm going to make that into a t -shirt. Do not this man with jars. Like a wanted poster, this picture Tom says, do not trust this man with jars. I mean, I'm just trying to do this game. I don't think we're going to get a game this week. I'm looking at movie names. mean, I've got one here. Have you ever heard of a movie called A Beautiful Mind? Yep. I haven't. Anyway, thought A Beautiful Mind, Schindler's List. I don't think I know the game anymore. I don't think no. I thought it was We Were Melding 2. I it was going to be like a Beautiful Mind Hunter. That is two movies, right? I just thought it was kind of ironic because it's not a Beautiful Mind that went on with the Holocaust. Mark, what you just said, that's what I was planning to do. That's what, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I am a little bit concerned that what we're doing now is going to ruin my game that I was going to prepare. You said that before, yeah. You said that before, before we even started recording that you were gonna... So why did we even ask me? What the fuck? So this is a great example of how prepared we are. So the game that we thought was gonna be a game is now not gonna be a game until it's a game at different point. So let's literally just find a game. We can have another round of uncomfortable questions to ask your oldest friends. If you got more questions. Come on in, Tom is up for this one. Tom is literally sick to death of us. I was just expecting the music to start playing. Can I just ask you guys a couple of questions? Because I found a good one, at least one. If you found a good one, we can just quickly knock out a few questions. yeah, am getting, my voice is getting tired now. That's cool, man. So, guys. First question. The AI fades in for a surprise message. So that was our game. Great, wasn't it? Thank you so much for being a great audience. I've been the nameless wonder, and they've been wonderfully ill -informed. I'd like to put it to you, our audience, if you have a game that you think I should make my fleshy co -hosts play, or an opening question that won't absolutely destroy the positive vibes and derail another daytime recording session, then get in touch via the Instagram. or by leaving a comment if you're listening on Spotify. So maybe Ben, go on, have a go at the outro, bro. Go on. There you go. Can you give us a sting, a sting into it? Okay. Hello, right, I'm being forced at gunpoint to read the outro for you. So I'm not going to edit this. This is going to be however it comes out. So good luck, everybody. We hope you enjoyed this episode of Wonderfully Ininformed. If you have any thoughts, questions, corrections, reach out to us on Instagram at Wonderfully Ininformed. That's Wonderfully Ininformed, all one word. Now, I did quite well reading that, actually. And that's because I've heard it so many times whilst editing it. Yeah. And then Mark, you can do the next bit, because I can do it. Yeah, don't forget to subscribe, rate or leave a review on whatever podcast platform you're listening on. It will help us grow and ensure that we can get our little hooks in to more wonderfully ill -informed individuals just like you. That's it, you're fish. That will help people discover our show. Also, if you could share with your friends, just like say, hey, listen to wonderfully ill-informed. It's really funny or informative or entertaining. or none of the above, but listen anyway. Yeah, just share things about... Do you want to put us out of our misery, Thanks for listening. See you next week. Bye bye. Bye bye.