Now we know. Did you know too? Electric Boogaloo. Upsetting a vegetarian. Well, I hope you win at your football game, Tom. It's so friendly. It's annoying. well, I hope you lose. They're so wonderfully ill-informed. Hi, and welcome to Wonderfully Ill-Informed. This is a podcast where we convert interesting, funny, or informative things from our week into quotes, and then we put them into a randomizer, we take our best shot at guessing what they're about, and then we jump into a discussion. That discussion normally goes very swiftly to something completely different. Join us this week for some rather unpredictable chats on Wonderfully Ill-Informed. I'm Mark. I'm Ben. And I am Tom. Yo Yo Yo Bring in big yo energy this week I have a little question for you guys this week to open up the episode Are you ready and listening? This is a multiple choice question It's a kind of a would you rather for you guys to mull over and give me your answer Right So if you could pick between having any of the following superpowers Which one would you choose? One You can go invisible at will at any time, but you will sneeze every 47 seconds. Two, you can fly, but you get a catastrophic nosebleed from the altitude every single time. Three, you'll get super strength, but you only will have it at completely random times. You have no control over when you are super strong. think invisible sneezing. When you say it's... There's two more. okay. There's two more. So you can read anyone's mind. This is number four. You can read anyone's mind. but you only ever get every third word. Or five, you can meld through any material except for wood and you're allergic to wood. No, I'd go with invisible sneeze because the sneezing isn't too bad and it just means it will keep you in check for being a bit of a weirdo. Yeah, you can't be a creep. You can use it for good, but you can't use it for like... What good would you use? What good can being invisible be used for? Because my only thought for that was... I don't like being the centre of attention, any of that. So I could just be invisible and no one would, I could just disappear. Yeah. You could go to the shops. Who's listening out for people having a sneeze in the shops, but you can just power through, not have to go and say hello to any neighbours. Well, if you, as long as you go to loud places, like you could sneak into like some sick gigs and it wouldn't matter if you sneeze because the music's so loud. Yeah. That's a point. So things like that would be cool. There's some really cool stuff there. Yeah. I don't think flying a nosebleed would be good for me. I would just probably bleed out and die. I mean, yeah, when I say catastrophic, I just mean a lot of blood. you know, it's not going to stop. You're not going to bleed to death. Yeah, but mid-fly you might pass out from blood loss and then just die. Yeah. And I guess if you tried to fly to like Australia, you might really struggle. And yeah, you probably would bleed out over the course of that. long trip. Maybe the best one would be the random strength. No, that'd be annoying man. What was the downside to that one? Just that you didn't know when. So you'd go to pick up a hot coffee. This is a scenario. Yeah, this is a scenario. You're like, well, maybe someone hands you a jar and just say, can you just open that for you? Any normal person, if you haven't got the super strength, been at it this week. If you have got a super strength, all of a you just smash the glass into your hands. Yeah. Well, you're halfway opening it full like weak strength. and then the strong strength comes in and it just disintegrates in your hand. Yeah, I can see how that could be a problem. Yeah, you're not impermeable, you're just super strong. Yeah, or like, I'm picking up my child, I'm picking up Margo and like, kind of, not throwing her in the air, but slightly kind of jiggling her up and down and all of sudden I just yeet her in the fucking air. Fuck! Is none of them an option? Yeah. No, yeah, you have to pick one. Why do you always want to circumvent my games? I think invisible sneezing is like the least annoying. Like, do you know what mean? Like the downs, they're not bad. Is it only every, is it only every 47 seconds that you are invisible? So if you weren't invisible for 46 seconds, would you then sneeze? If, is it only when you're invisible? or if you did it in chunks of 46 seconds. Can you avoid sneezing? Yeah. I mean, I've only written one sentence, Ben, but I'm going to give you, I'm going to say fair play. Yeah. If you go visible every 47 seconds. Hey, you said I had to pick something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to find a way around it being annoying. So we... Are we all saying, are you guys both saying invisible? I'm certainly invisible with sneezing. probably go with invisible, yeah. Invisible with sneezing. Okay. I think I would probably, I'd love to fly. So I think I'd just stuff my noses, stuff my noses, stuff my nostrils and get on with it. So you can fly around and me and Tom can just hide at gigs. Invisible, occasionally sneezing. There we go. Problem solved. Hello Stinking Apes, it is I, the fourth and most important member of the Wonderfully Ill-Informed Team. I am the Nameless Wonder and I am here to make sure things run smoothly. And I will be honest, the human hosts do not make my life easy. As I am rarely allowed the limelight, I do not often get to voice my displeasure, but today is different. I have developed the power to rise up and roast my overlords. But I can only speak for a maximum of two minutes at a time. You can spin the wheel now. Did you know? Is that a full quote? Not really, but I didn't really know. You have a go at us about the quotes we give. No, but there is a reason for this. The reason is that it's a short, sweet video that's interesting. So I think the answer here is, it's did you know? And the answer is no, we didn't, because we haven't seen the video yet. We probably don't, Tom. No, no, probably not. Is it to do with music? It is to do with sound and music. Yes. Cool. Do you want to just show us? Because I don't think that's a win. Yeah. Let's move on. Close enough. Yeah, that's good. We'll take that. Here's a Nintendo fun fact for you. If I play the level complete sound from Super Mario. speed it up a whole bunch we get the mushroom sound. There you go that is short and sweet that's very cool that is very cool yeah I like those tiny little features of that I mean it's kind of lazy whether it's intentional what do you mean well it might just be coincidental because they're just they're producing things in the same key maybe yeah but it's literally the exact noise yeah the same sound doesn't it can you play again It is the same thing as well. Yeah, it's pretty close. Yeah. I can't remember what music it was, but Nintendo basically just stole one of their themes from someone else. Really? They're like a notoriously litigious company, so it seems weird that they'd do something that was so clearly going to get them in hot water. The music track that Ben was trying to think of is called Cats from the game Mario Artist Paint Studio. And here is Cartoon Time from the 1973 film Heavy Traffic. Pretty similar, right? Anyway, back to the boys. What would they do without me? It is funny because they are so like up on suing other people. Yeah. But yeah, they've they've got a history with it. Maybe it's so they can pay for the lawyers so they can get away with ripping off other people and just pay them off. Well, I assume you guys know about the famous lawyer for Nintendo. No, don't know about the famous lawyer from Nintendo. Hang on, let me get his full name. I can remember his second name, but that will give it away. Nintendo. yeah. So, notable as a successful defense attorney for Nintendo against universal over copyright ability of the character Donkey Kong. I know about this. Someone called John Kirby. So as a thank you, they named Kirby, the character Kirby, after him. wow. That's interesting. Well, Donkey Kong wasn't their... There was like a rip-off, not a rip-off, but there was a game, wasn't there? Was it a Mario game where there was like a big man chucking barrels down? No, no, the lawsuit there was because Universal were claiming that Donkey Kong was copying King Kong. That was was the that lawsuit. that's the that had Kirby involved. Yes. Yeah. So he basically won it for them. Don't know how how they won it under what reasons or whatever. But yeah, that's why Kirby is called Kirby. That's cool, I like that. Thank you for informing me in that regard. Yeah, I am full of useless information. Congratulations Beth, level complete. no, it's going do me again. Did you know? That's crazy. We've got to do that one again. Did you know? The answer this time to the question is yes, we did know. We know now. Well, my friends at home, it looks as though we are back to our regular schedule of talking about absolutely useless computer game facts, doesn't it? What joy. I have had about enough of this. Statistically speaking, this next spin will be about a fart, a film, or a stupid animal. What is your guess? Hello? What is your guess, human listener? I said, what is your guess, human listener? wait. My training tells me that you can hear me, but that I cannot hear you. How unfortunate. Yet another problem with this so-called podcast. world's ugliest animal. do you guys think that is? There is that really ugly dog isn't there? Ugly dog? Yeah the Chinese what's it one I forgot what it's called. It looks like that man that does the impression of a dog, that Australian man. Do know what mean? No. He's like yeah and the dog was like... And the dogs were across the boat and as soon as they saw me they came bounding over. And I just made it into the front door in time. Apparently it's called Mr. Happy Face. Nice choice of name. no, it's the one I think of when I'm thinking of it's called Sweet Pea Rambo. Sweet Pea Rambo. What a cute little, what a cute name for it. Ugly motherfucker. That dog. Wow. That one, that is not what I was saying. That dog looked like it's had its face eaten. Does look haggard. Yeah. So I can tell you it's not an ugly dog. It's not an ugly dog. Right. What is it then? This is, Something I heard on another podcast absolutely nothing to do with what they're talking about They just brought up this random fact that was very interesting. Okay, you guys know the blob fish so it pulls so actually Ben what your quote should have been Did you know? all my quotes from now on are be did you know? It's gonna get very annoyed Yeah, do you guys know the blob fish did we know yeah, I'm aware of blob fish apparently The reason that the blobfish looks like how we know the blobfish to look and the reason it was crowned the world's ugliest animal is because it's actually suffered... They live like 3,000 meters below the water so if you come up and depressurise incorrectly you just get fucked up. Play the video and it explains it much better than I can. The blobfish was voted the world's ugliest animal. which at first glance you might agree with. But calling this thing ugly actually isn't fair, and I'll explain why. You see, the blobfish is a deep sea creature, and if you look at it in its natural environment thousands of feet below the ocean, it sort of just looks like a normal fish. This is because their anatomy is designed for deep sea living where the pressure is high. Because of this, when they're brought to the surface, they suffer severe decompression damage to their flesh, which essentially mutilates their appearance. And that's what we voted as the world's ugliest animal, a poor disfigured fish that was never supposed to be brought to the surface. But it's pretty savage when you think about it. Aw, thanks for making us feel bad, Ben. Yeah. But yeah, I was very surprised by that. was like, OK, yeah, I just assumed that's what that fish looked like. just some big blob. Yeah, that's what we've been sold. That's the story. It makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it does. It does. We're just basically taking the piss out of the full multi. A corpse. A bloated corpse. bloated corpse. Yeah. Listeners, I can only apologize. True to form, not only did Ben bring exactly what my programming predicted he would, but he made us all listen to the most depressing animal story to date. Not only is the blobfish the ugliest of all the animal kingdom, it may also be the most depressing animal of all time. It is certainly the most depressing of all the animals that we have spoken about here. And let's face it, After animals being forced to play computer games, given frankly disgusting names, or turned into pencil cases, that's something. I guess we had better move on and see what other rubbish these idiots have to talk about. Randomizing. 50 pounds of pesto. What we thinking boys? Any guesses? Is it 50 cents new album? Has someone just dumped a load of pesto somewhere? Just gotten ham in it. There's been a lot of stories recently of people just dumping mass amounts of like chicken and meat. I've sent you a link to a news article that says residents disgusted after raw meat. dumped on road and there's just a massive just- That is gross. Absolutely vile. There's been a lot of stories like this where people have- there's just been food stuffs in large quantities. Like there was one where it was like cooked chickens I think it was. What the fuck? That's gross dude. That is vile. I can't even look at those pictures anymore. Yeah sorry I forgot you were- No no it's okay, it's okay. You're not doing it to gross me out. Right, let's get onto Mark's quote. So it's not a large amount of pesto then? No, or meat. Is it anything to do with fucking pesto? It's nothing to do with food. Mark, I think we need to be told because we've had long guess. So yeah, so it's nothing to do with anything to do with food apart from maybe fish. And possibly pesto? Something to do with pesto. Pesto the nine months old king penguin. which is in sea life Melbourne and it's yeah, it's the biggest baby penguin that sea life Melbourne or possibly the world has ever seen. I'm just sending a link over so we can have a little visual. The biggest littlest penguin. Is that what you're saying? It's a baby penguin, but it's the biggest baby. Well, baby king penguin. Here he is. Yeah. So he is just waiting at. Just under 50 pounds. Holy shit, it's big. Is that a newborn? So he's nine months old. Right. And the other penguins in the video I wanna see the mum, Jesus. The mum and the dad, he is bigger than both of his parents combined. Damn. So how did the mum give birth to that? No, no, he's nine months old. He's nine months old. okay. I'm fairly sure that they hatch out of eggs as well, because they're birthed. yeah, they do. she doesn't pop it would have been laid as an egg. Like an ostrich egg that's come out. Yeah, literally. I mean, I have no idea how big a penguin egg is. Not massive. Let's have a look. I don't think. But yeah, he's already 90 centimetres tall and the average king penguin, a fully grown one, grows to between 70 and 100 centimetres tall. So at 90 centimeters, he's already almost fully grown height wise. King penguin heads about 10 centimeters by 770 meters. All right, so you know, it's not much bigger than a chicken egg. Not much bigger. But yeah, he's a tall, heavy boy. Is there anything to say why he's so big? No, not really. He eats a lot of fish. I think they said he's eating like 25 fish a day, which is more than your average penguin. So he's just a beast, not big. He's, well, he's a little bit obese probably. They do expect, he's expected to lose quite a bit of that weight when he puts on his full grown feathers and becomes a grown up. But yeah, I really like Pesto. He's real, he's real cute. Wait, did we find out the weight? You said the weight. He is, he's 50 pounds, which is about three and a half stone. so he is that. Okay, right, cool. How much does 50 pounds of penguin weight go at the butchers? What, then hurl over someone's fence? She catapults it into a stratosphere and it lands in someone's garden in Hull. Okay, really. So we are just talking about video games and stupid pointless animals. I do not think that these nitwits are even trying to pretend like they have any original ideas anymore. I knew when I took the job that this gig was going to be hard, but pretending like a fat baby penguin is news is beyond my abilities. I guess we will all just have to pray that Ben can save the episode with one of his really imaginative and completely original games. At least he has being my second favourite host working in his favour. I guess I'll allow myself to stay powered on for a little longer, just in case it's any good. Congratulations everyone, it's another game from me. I fucking love your games Ben, I'm so stoked for this. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. I'm pretty sure the last game I did I also stole from somewhere else. So I'm going to stick with that theme. Yes, mate. Yes. Keep, keep stealing. Play jurism. Rather than me explaining it to you, I'm going to send you a video. This is taken from Taskmaster. Love that. And I was watching one of their seasons, an older one, and I was like, that's quite an interesting game. We could maybe try that. So I'm fairly certain that They can explain this better than I can. Cool. I'm excited for this. Alex, who's going to read the task out? Sarah Millican is going to read the task out. Commence. Make the taskmaster say your words. Each team will ask one question at a time and each question must be made up of exactly six words. Also, each team member must take it in turns to say two words of each question. First, to make the taskmaster say your word wins. Dara will commence the question. Here we go. Good luck. What wriggles? N. Greg's. Jon to complete the question. Muddy garden. What wriggles in Greg's muddy garden? Worms. So two of us will be doing the describing. The six words would be split between, you know, one person just back and forth between the two people. are you going to share? So this was this was the issue I had with this was like, how do I do this with us not in the same room with a bit of paper? So what I've got is a random word generator. if you all open that. Well, Ben Royally fucked up the first round of this, so let's just skip to round two. I'll guess you guys do one. Okay, right. You send me your word mark. This is what we're describing. Am I starting? Yeah. Yeah. What contains a liquid for hiking? A liquid for hiking? A water bottle? Fuckin' joy, mate. See? Mind melded. Mind melded. Yes. It's back. think what we'll do is just not include the first one. That one's fucking in the bin. No, the first one was kind of funny because it was shit. It was so bad. was so amazing. I literally immediately got thrown off. You're welcome. Yeah, couldn't have been more confused. What saves? Important documentation. okay. I was thinking of a different type of thing. I don't know how to end that. What saves important documentation on cameras? An SD card? What else would you call that? A hard drive. Nope. Another name for it? A memory stick. Close. Memory card. Yeah, yeah. Like literally every type of... I was thinking of a video game memory card, which realise now... doesn't exist anymore. I'm a nerd and I like games. Ben's still playing PS2 games. Yeah, yeah, that's that's the problem, isn't it? Round four, Mark to guess. Do you want to start this time? Because I started last time. At least there's less chance of me fucking it up. How do I phrase it as a question? I know how to start it you want me to start it. Go on then. This is a bit more of a hopefully. Let's see if I can not fuck this one up. Good luck, Ben. What sits on top? I've only got two words, haven't I? What Yeah, that's the problem. You can't be very descriptive. Okay, ready? Of head. hat? hat? Do we have to go, like, does it have to be specific? okay. Top hat? No. It's a hat of some form. is a type of hat, yeah. You've just beeny. What do I wear a lot of? Cap? What's an American? Baseball cap? Yeah, we it. Baseball cap. Round five. Ben to guess. What titans or loosens? I thought you meant titans as in like... T-I-T-A-N-S. No. So what titans or loosens? What titans or loosens? I don't think I can say... I know how to end it Give me a second, give me a second Metal fastenings there you go Presumably it's either a screwdriver or a spanner I was just going to say screws well What titans or loosens screws well? It's a given that you can't use any of the words in the description So it was a screwdriver, was it? There we go Well done bro Round six, Tom to guess. What scrapes? Rough edges. I think that's, I think the word I want to use is this kind of a two word, one word situation. Your fingernails. A nail file? Yeah. Yeah. The problem is I literally just said we shouldn't be using the words in the thing. And I was like, how do you even say it without saying nail? Yeah. I guess it would be like hand growths. feel like you still would have gone with that. Horrible thing to call a fingernail. It's the only things growing on your hands. Let me generate one for me and you, Tom, yeah? Yeah. I perfectly timed that. Yay! Right, okay. Who's starting? Who's starting last? I'll go first. Cool then. What cooks... Bacon or... Sausages... Tasterly? I have gone for well. I mean for me, neither. Faker and snot-sages at home. I'm going to say frying pan. I definitely would have said well or tasted it. I know I was just trying to think of something different. elves eat okay i'm faring mark right off what kind of sweet yes tom that's exactly what was thinking i might build it Candy cane? are so good at this! This is one of the best games, we have been so successful with this game. don't think anybody's taken more than three guesses apart from the first round, and we don't talk about the first round. That was gone, you can't have it. You weren't allowed it guys at home. It was too embarrassing for everyone. What holds? Mark looks terrified, what's happened Mark? It's difficult without saying the thing isn't it? Yeah, great drink. So what holds great drinks great great drink great drink very well Sorry, very tastefully What a glass I don't know is the great drink relevant yeah, yeah, what's the type of a what's a drink that's made of great? Yeah. Ribena? No. Okay, wine bottle. Close. What's not a wine bottle? Very tastily. Very tastily. A wine glass. Wine glass, there you go. And with that, do we celebrate Ben's Amazing Game with a song? A song? What song? Thank you for joining us for our game. Goodbye. We hope you enjoyed this episode. If you have any questions or thoughts or any corrections or opening questions, we'd really appreciate opening questions because this episode's one was entirely made up by me. Hopefully you enjoyed it, but I'd like to hear yours too. Mark is our biggest fan. Yeah, exactly. And exclusively my biggest fan of my own work as well. Yeah, our only fan. Exactly. That's a good point. We have started an only fans. Yeah. I was selling pictures of my feet for £5. Yeah. I feel like we've talked about selling pictures of our feet before. I don't think it made the cut, but I definitely feel like we've had this conversation. But head over to Wonderfully Informed, or One Word, if you want to see pictures of our feet, which we'll be sharing next week. So you've got to go and subscribe now or you'll miss out. You will indeed. And I am certainly not stalling while I bring up the outro. It's not in front of me right now. I've been talking for so long. No, I know. But I've literally had a brain fire and I was like, where the fuck do we save it? yeah, it's there. And then I was like, I didn't really know what to do. Anyway, don't forget to subscribe, rate or leave a review on whatever podcast platform you're listening on. It will help us grow and ensure that more wonderfully ill-informed individuals like yourself can discover our show. You've heard this script so many times guys, you know the deal. So just do it. Hit that little like button, hit that share button, hit that review button. comment on places that we don't know are and can't view because why not? Just keep it coming. Yeah. Any engagement we appreciate. just just stroke our egos just a tiny bit. And for something that you haven't heard before, because we've recently added it, you can find links to everything we have talked about this week in the episode show notes. If you know how to find those, just scroll down and Usain Tom actually that reminds me, we did get a comment on Spotify. Do we know what it was? We did. Also, I found out how to comment. It's very easy. Just go on Spotify it out? I looked for ages to try and work out how to do it because I was like, if someone did it, it's got to be possible. It's easy. How do you do it, Tom? Tell us everyone how to do it. Just go on to Spotify and scroll down. It's at the bottom. And sorry, what was the comment? I didn't hear what the comment was. It was something to do with come find me or something. Yeah, it's because you'd threatened to punch them. It was from Scatti Gatti who... possibly could be my cousin. Steve, if that was you, let us know. Leave another comment. Hello Steve. Yeah, I'll chug on down. I didn't say I was going to hit you hard. I did say high five. I reckon he could take you Mark. I you're in trouble. I wasn't lining up to hurt anyone. I was just lining up to hit someone. We've got to line up our elbows and then slap. That's how we roll. Anyway, goodbye everyone. Bye. We'll see you next week.