Look at me, Black Hole. Joe. Mommy and Dady. Mark wins the episode. It loads super quick though, so you've definitely allowed some cookies in there. And I've got, I don't live in the middle of nowhere where like you have people outside in your garden doing little treadmill bikes to get your fucking internet going. Fair. I don't have a comeback for that because I'm going back out to run the flywheel in three hours. They're so wonderfully ill-informed. Hello, welcome to wonderfully ill-informed, the podcast where we confer interesting, funny or informative things from our week into quotes, put them into the randomizer, take our best shot at guessing what they're about and then jump into discussion. Join us for some rather unpredictable chats on wonderfully ill-informed. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. I am Mark and I have a bit of a fun little chat. rather than a question for you guys this week to open the episode. feel like, sorry, I just feel like I came in a bit hot then. I was quite excited. I like the energy, bro. It was cool. Maybe, but I also then feel like it kind of just went whoosh and then just like immediately it was like, and chill. right. Okay. We're down on the elevator now. We're just, hi. Hi there guys. Musaka. Musaka, that's food. I know. It's my chill word. Moo sucker. So yeah, I've got a kind of a creative chat for you guys as the opening three episode today. A spawn of a conversation I had with my wife. So this is kind of titled, petty crimes and vindictive punishments. Create them. So this is for, you know, those petty annoyances on a day to day basis that happen to us, you know, for Tom. As we've recently discussed, it's people leaving their dog shit on the path outside his house. can't think of, I mean, not many other people can affect you Ben, because you don't really leave the house. I do go out, but... I'm just playing. I'm just playing. So, I mean, what little petty things or petty crimes could you commit? Little vindictive punishments can we come up with as a team? Okay, I haven't got any punishments, but a few little... things that I can think of for the top of my head are going downstairs and then immediately realizing that I've left something upstairs and just, just, it just pisses me off. So go back upstairs, grab the thing. And then sometimes I even come back downstairs and forget another thing that I needed. That's annoying. how can we incorporate that to punish someone else? I just punished myself, punished my stupid brain. That's just the way you punish yourself on a daily basis. Yeah. I just, yeah, pretty much. I do other things like put the dishwasher on. and then immediately need something from the dishwasher and I'm like, fuck! I can't open it! I've definitely done that before. We've got a few if-fails. I can suggest a few. I mean, it's fireworks as well. That's annoying. Having a child, literally get her to sleep. yeah, it's all good. She's asleep. Step out the door. Yeah, especially this time of year. So what can we do to get these fireworks using arseholes? cases are fucking annoying. Last, someone using to have in my last coffee pod. That's fucking annoying. yeah, that sucks. Going to the coffee machine to like have, yeah, I'm looking forward to my coffee. Open up the little pod drawer and there's just no pods. I mean, there's not very many options on who that could be, Tom. It's me. It's me. The ironic thing is it's me. So all of the annoyances are just things that annoy you. that you do yourself. Yeah. Literally forgetting. Do you tuck Margo in over night time and then go out to the garden and start setting off fireworks as well? Shit on the pavement. And shit on the pavement, yeah. I don't use my own toilet. Also, I hate, I hate Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig is a dick. I mean, okay. Right, we've got a lot of things that you're annoyed about, Tom, but no punishments. No. How are you going to punish all of these things? Well, I don't know. Pepper Pig needs to just be turned into bacon. That's exactly what I was thinking. Yeah. Have you seen the Pepper Pig game that I can't remember what it's called, but it's like doing things around the world. And when you go to each country, you meet like people from that country. And when they go to London, they come in, is they go see like a beef eater or something. And then when that section ends, when you've completed that, a black screen comes up with Pepper Pig. standing next to the queen that says like 19 whatever when she was born and then the date that she died saying RIP or in memoriam or something which just seems so out of place for a children's game. strange. Yeah so weird. Yeah yeah really odd. And the animation isn't really that good the drawing isn't good and also wait a minute this is one thing that I like a thing that has to be done right okay. We have to colour this. We have to and I will put we'll put these pics up. You shouldn't have started the episode with making Tom angry. Yeah, yeah. like though this energy is brilliant. I like this kind of energy from Tom going into an episode. Yeah, well, I see if I can keep it up. Probably not. Right, okay. So is it me or does every single pig look like a little penis? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally like a little floppy penis. Like even the dad's got like a little hairy scrotum for a chin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like a penis on a cold day. Like with a foreskin, won't be, if you haven't got foreskin, then maybe it doesn't look like it, but pretty much that's what it looks all got two holes on the end, right? Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's two holes. Yes. Everyone's got two holes. We did actually have a rule. We said that we'd never let her watch Peppa Pig because we both don't like it. And then somehow Holly let her watch an episode and yeah, now we both majorly regret it because we fucking despise it. Peppa the cunt. Anyway, let's move on. Tom's Fetty Grieventors is over. Welcome to the wonderfully ill-informed Digital Spa and Wellness Center. I have decided that in order to maintain the usually happy-go-lucky tone of this podcast, I must tip the scales from rant to relaxation. Our team is here this week to ensure every moment of your visit to the feed is tailored to provide you with comfort and a feeling of well-being. So just kick back, unwind. and refresh yourself with this peaceful retreat from reality. Are we mad or do we feel bad for it? Whatever that is, this quote, the pictures for this quote now have to be like mad 80s. I'll make them the 80s, but it's going to be the 1880s, I'm afraid, Tom. OK. So it's old then. OK, good clue. no, no, I'm just I'm just being a dick. So something is it something that Britain did back in the day? It's about someone. Are they like, am I mad or do I feel bad for the fact that Britain still holds the Elgin marbles or something? No, it's nothing to do with with our earth. Nothing to with our earth. Did you say? Yeah, that was a little hint. Is this to do with some kind of other planets? It is. is this the thing to do with the 10th planet? Planet X. Spot on, Mark. It is to do with the 10th planet. I watch so much Reels. Yeah, I've seen things on it. It's where all the people with, what they call that they're not, they're not actually like real people. What they called? No idea what you're talking they're like those mythical beings from a different planet. There is a forgotten planet in our solar system. I've seen this video. At one point, astronomers said there were 10 planets. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, and Eris. It has an insane orbit that takes it twice as far from the sun as Pluto. but then also closer to the Sun than Pluto sometimes. Eris was discovered in 2005, and before it was discovered, astronomers could confidently say that other objects like this were definitely smaller than Pluto. But they weren't sure about Eris. They looked the same size. So what are they supposed to do? Sometimes it's closer than Pluto, so they said Eris was a planet too. Look, it's even got a moon. And this is what caused the International Astronomical Union to redefine what a planet is and bump Pluto out. So now both Eris and Pluto are considered dwarf planets, but only Pluto ever got the fame. So are we mad at Eris for bumping Pluto or do we feel bad for it? Are we mad at Eric? I don't know. Eric, Eric the dwarf planet. Yeah, Eric the dwarf planet. Yeah, yeah. I just I never knew why Pluto got demoted to being a dwarf planet. Yeah, yeah. No, I didn't know about that. And that's apparently why because this this Planet Eris was discovered in 2005. then they had, so as a result, they had to say, well, so Pluto doesn't count anymore. Yeah. So yeah, yeah, that is, it's really interesting, isn't it? I, yeah, I mostly just took away the fact that there was a 10th planet and that I thought about all of my years as a conspiracy theory fan and Planet X was a huge thing back in the days at YouTube before, before the algorithm sort of made all What's Planet X? Can you, can you explain that to us? Cause I've no idea what that is. So it's all about that what Tom was explaining. think it's Nibiru. Nibiru. Yes. Yeah. Was the 10th planet was planet X that used to I used to come across lots and lots of videos that included stuff to do with Nibiru and yeah, otherwise known as planet X. Yeah, Nibiru cataclysm is a supposed disastrous encounter between Earth and a large planetary object. So that one actually would have struck. I think it's supposed to have hit and carried on going past us. I think that's the thing from the conspiracy is that the planet X hit us, left some stuff behind. And that was kind of like the spark for life. Our creation. I've heard that one as well. Because I think, yeah, I think the things that were supposed to have been left behind by planet X going past, that might have been the... fuck, was it? The people that got left or the not the people, but the aliens that got left behind by planet X hitting Earth or the... things that then genetically modified apes and that sort of stuff into humans as a big experiment in order for us to farm their gold. they meant to be like the missing link? No, so it's just a whole thing about the creation myth, basically. It's just a new creation myth. it's about... See, the version I'd heard was very similar was that their planet, Planet X, was dying or had died and they wanted to save it. because it was dying from radiation because it was too close to the sun or something. So they came to Earth where they thought that there was a lot of gold. And then they had, I think they were working on basically mining the gold themselves. And then they thought, actually we'll create this species, humans to mine this gold. So we're just workers for them. Yeah, yeah. We were like their worker bees. Joke's on them. I'm not doing fucking anything for them. I haven't mined a single bit of gold in my life. What supposedly fucked it up was the fact that these people, these gods or whatever from this other planet were then mating with the humans and then it all got a bit weird and funky. just a minute. I've just, I've just seen, I've just seen me in the corner. I'm in the corner of the picture there. my God. he is. I'm right there talking about the planet. that's not me. I've missed it. I've lost I've disappeared. I'm gone, Tom. You made me disappear, the algorithm don't think you like me no more. You were on Joe Rogan the other day weren't you? was I? After Trump. Trump was on. And then me! To talk about the planets! It was the other way around and you weren't talking about planets you were talking about black holes. look at me black hole Joe. Joe? Joe, have you ever thought about black holes? Bye bye bye see you later bye lovely to see you guys Well, I feel like we certainly learned a lot there. That was a welcome return from rage to ridiculousness. And that piece really ran the gamut from science to conspiracy theory. How refreshing. We are thankful for our masseuses and resident conspiracy experts, Mark and Tom, who successfully managed an astonishingly accurate retelling of ancient aliens Planet X theory there. Please place your cucumber slices over your eyes whilst we wheel you into the next treatment room. Survival here is a privilege, not a right. Otherwise, mommy and daddy wouldn't have left you. that's not very well spelled. Daddy. That's now the title. Mommy and daddy. I'm trying to just inhale it. Yeah, so there's a lot to take in there. Yes. So is this to do with animals or is this to do with people? I'd say it's very much to do with people. OK. So like a boarding school. No, no. I'll give you a clue. This isn't to do with anything in like a real life setting. is it your guy again who does the VR? No, no, this isn't. But you are close. You're in the right ballpark there. So this is a thing that I sat on for a while. I spoke about... Is it a dildo? Dirty bot. I like how Tom's brain went to dildo. I was going to say egg. Well, we, we, I think it hit the episode. fact that I knew what I was going to bring this week came up I think in the last episode. yeah you did. So this is the thing that I was talking about last week that I got really excited about. So this is a computer game that finally I saw some kind of test footage of. It's called Whittle Mistakes and this is the reveal trailer for it. Hello sweetheart, welcome to my playpen. A world made just for you. Filled with wonder and surprises. I'm mother and I'm delighted to meet you. Survival here is a privilege, not a right. Otherwise mommy and daddy wouldn't have left you. It looks really fun, doesn't it? It's free. That's joy. Said it was free to play as well. That's, that's... Worrying how come free-to-play games are normally just absolutely littered with microtransactions and like their live service so they're like Multiplayer and just annoying. It's not my type of game at all. fair play. I mean that looks fun It looks really really fun. Yeah, it looks like it could be one of those viral games You know like that tower climbing game that people went mad over where you're chained together. I can't remember what that one was called, but I do know the one. think it's just called Chained Together. Yeah, apparently there's a narrative driven single player story for Whittle Mistakes. okay. Fair enough. So, yeah. I do enjoy the fact that it's called Whittle Mistakes. Yeah, so Whittle Mistakes does make it sound cool. Yeah. I think the premise is that the kids are like left behind by, they're like in an orphanage and it's like a testing ground for... stronger children or something. mean it's really dark if you think about it isn't it? Very much so, very very much so. I'm sorry dear client, we seem to have gone into the wrong room there. Instead of providing you with a gong bath and leaving you in a zen-like state, it seems like we wheeled you into the IT department. I didn't even know we had an IT department here. I knew there was a business center, but that's usually just left empty, not filled with computer game nerds. Let's try again. SOS. SOS. Is that Rihanna? It is Rihanna. Yeah, I was going to say is it that song? It is. Well done. Right, let's move on. So good. I'm so fucking good at guessing. Well done Mark. You've got the ball today. You've got both of them. Right, okay. So it's just you announcing that Rihanna brought out the song SOS in the year 2008. There's a running joke, which isn't even a joke. It's a running truth that I'm never... bed for this podcast and that would be a correct assumption. have you forgotten what this is Tom? Yeah, I have forgotten what this is. I know that it's about music. I know that it's about the song Rihanna. I know that it's about how it was written. whole second verse of that song is 80 song titles strung together as sentences because I thought it would be super clever. Take on me. Aha. know inside you feel it right. Take me on. could just die up in your arms tonight. melt with you. You got me head over heels. But boy, you keep me hanging on the way you make me feel. number one songs from the 80s. That's incredible. had no idea. No one does. No one does. There we go. So cool. Such a cool fact. he wrote the song, did he? Yeah, yeah. That's a songwriter. That guy, Daniel, Daniel Wall does the show behind the wall. And it's yeah, it's really good. I've only listened to I think maybe one or two episodes, but it's really interesting. I saw a different video. about One Direction actually also did that where they used the titles of number one hits to write a song. can't remember what the song is, go find it out. There's by Anne-Marie as well. I think it's called 2002. Yeah. The lyrics for that go for the chorus go, oops, I got 99 problems singing bye bye bye. Hold up. If you want to go and take a ride with me, better hit me baby one more time. That's shit though, isn't it? Yeah, the difference is the other one... The other one makes more sense. That's just... it for the sake of doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I could make lyrics like that. Let me just go on Spotify and just read out just the first 10 titles that I see. That's basically what that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little bit OTT, isn't it? I'm sorry, sweet, gentle humans. It seems like despite my best efforts to keep things light, we have ended up back with Tom having another rant about a piece of media. Let's all hope that someone has brought a good game to cheer him up and leave us all feeling rejuvenated and ready to return to our busy and stressful lives. You can pay and leave tips at the front desk on your way out. Who is bringing the game? So I think I said I would. Yeah. We've got some options. I tested one with Mike and again he said it was bad. So do you want to roll the dice again and see if it is also bad and then we'll just do the other one? I wanna play man, I wanna play play the bad game. I always wanna play. We have to try our absolute best to make this game not shit and good. So we can prove Mike wrong finally. Finally we can prove him wrong. we're going to make this amazing. We're looking for full enthusiasm, boys. Yeah, yeah. Let's go. So as you guys know, I collect retro video games and just video games in general. Do you, Ben? I do. Can you see them behind me? There's fucking loads of them. This leads me to quite regularly using the website CX. So I thought it could be fun. Mike disagreed, but I thought it could be fun for us to do. You guys remember the TV show? play your cards, right? This is what I think it's going to be. I know the name of the game, but I can't remember. I'm excited. And they played a game called higher or lower. Higher or lower. I mean, I know what higher or lower is. I'm so excited. So what I have prepared is I've gone to CEX, what, to their website, and found a bunch of games and I'm going to give you a game. And you need to tell me if it's higher or lower in price on CEX than the previous game. See, this is a cool game. I don't think it would be a very cool game to listen to, I think it be a cool game to We're being positive about this. Remember positive. We are going to prove Mike wrong. Proving Mike wrong. I'm actually, it sounds like a fun game. It sounds like I'm going to enjoy it, but whether people are listening will enjoy it. don't know. I also would like you guys to not only tell me if you think it's higher or lower. Actually, like, give me what you think. How much do you think the game is? Okay. We'll start with Call of Duty Black Ops 6 for the PlayStation 5. Right. What version? Just the standard version of the game. Okay. I reckon about 50, 50 quid. Okay. Yeah. I was going to say about 45. 60 pounds. Wow. 60 quid. Okay. So what I need you to tell me now is, Hitman 2 for the PlayStation 2 higher or lower than 60 pounds? I mean, this seems obviously lower. How much do you reckon then Tom? If you reckon it's obviously lower. Wait, is Hitman 2 a really old game? It's a PlayStation 2 game. So I'm always going to give you the game and the platform that it's for. But this is all on CEX, it's not like vintage webs. When I couldn't find it on CEX, I have used price charting. All but one were done from CEX. I would say lower personally. I would say maybe 40 quid. I'd say like 15 pounds, man. Right, your guy's gauges are way off £2.50, but you are correct that it was lower. So, and that's the main game, so you are winning. Well done. We can progress. The next game, fantastic game that we all remember. We all played this one. Pippa Funnel 2 Farm Adventures for the Nintendo DS. I remember seeing that one in the the ZX back in the day. That's higher than the thing, surely. I'd say that's £5. More than, yeah. Do you say Nintendo DS? Nintendo DS. Yeah, I reckon 675. It's one pound. You're all afraid. So this one we do know. Super Mario 64 for the N64. What do you reckon? Higher or lower than a pound? It's got to be higher. think it's gonna be higher. Yeah. Not like a brand new COD game. I feel like that might be like 30 quid. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's it is higher. It's 45 pounds. yeah. The mint version is 140 pounds. Jesus. I'm not sure if this is a good idea to say this now or wait to the end, but I haven't a gaming annoyance which could link into the ending. Right, so we have established here that Tom doesn't like the game. No, the game is good. I just thought of something and I was like, that will link well into the outro. But no, I can bring it up at the end. Next one is Poopslinger for the PlayStation 4. I want it, so this better be cheap because I want it. What is the game? Can you describe the game for me Ben? Just so I can imagine. think it is as literal as it sounds in that you literally just sling shit at things. I've not played it. And this is more or less than 45 pounds to for the privilege. More or less than 45. it's gonna be way lower. yeah. 20... no not even 20. 15 pounds. I reckon about 10. It's 755 pounds. Piss off. Really? Yeah. Why? So there is a good reason for this one. This is a game that is called Poopslinger. So for a start, not a good game, potentially. Well, yeah, exactly. So why is it so expensive? It was released digitally only initially, but in 2019 they released a physical version of it and they released it on the 1st of April. So everybody thought it was a joke. So only 84 copies were sold. so that is super rare. It is the... most expensive PS4 game as far as I'm aware. Wow. I think it also was only in America. Mate, that's mental. There's one on eBay for 13 grand. That's ridiculous. Is it graded? No, it's not even graded. wow. Yeah, there's a graded one for 15 grand. That's mental. It's got a 9.6. Yeah, it's insane. I mean, I'm not even touching grading on this because that's all bullshit and just inflating the price is unnecessary. But even so. Like even, what did you say, 300 and something? No, 700 and something pounds was the regular. 755. I think it's about a thousand dollars is what it's going for. Yeah. That's just insanity. Insanity, yeah. Does anyone remember the SNES Mario Kart? I don't think I've ever played a SNES. really? I might have once. All the Joy Mario games. Are you joking? No, no, I've certainly not played the original Mario Kart. Wow. The only Nintendo consoles I had growing up was the N64 and the Game Boy, or Game Boy Color. Mate, Battletoads. That's why you hadn't heard of Battletoads. I don't know what Battletoads is. You don't? I do. No don't. You don't know. You're not allowed to know. You're not allowed to know because you play it. But yeah, I had a Mega Drive and like we had Sega until Sega was not a thing anymore. Yeah. And then... goodbye. Say goodbye. Right, are we done then? Or not? We can be done. you done Ben? No, no, only because I've, before I forget this bit. yes, you were going to tell us why the game was shit, weren't you Tom? Come on then. No, it was good game. I enjoyed it. Fuck you Mike. I just have a nice tie into the outro. This time for more of Tom's petty grievances. So yeah, one of my annoyances about games was how developers back in the day, I don't know if it was their way of kind of getting you to like play the game or get addicted to it, but They didn't just decided not to put save points in. the amount of light. think there's a lot of games on the Sega where I would play and then as soon as you run out of lives, you're playing from the beginning, bro. Yeah. You've got to start the whole game again. Do you know why that is, Tom? Because they're cunts. Part of it is to do with the fact they could do less. So that's why games were really hard back then. Arcade games are very difficult because they want you to keep playing and keep playing and putting coins in. Yeah. Old consoles. didn't have any memory. So they couldn't save. like the only reason that you could save like your Pokemon games on the Game Boy is because it had a battery in the cartridge. So that's saved. So there's been a lot of things like that battery, they last about 20 years. So now those cartridges, the saves are failing. Like if you've got an old Pokemon game, if you were to load it up, you actually might find that it doesn't have your save file anymore because the battery has run out finally. Can you remedy that? Can you replace your battery or would it be taken out of the existing? They're soldered onto the board, but you can now get kits where you like solder in a new thing where you can just place a battery in to put it in and take it out. Right. I'm surprised no one's put a mod. There must have been a way to put a mod on some of those old games. Games like Lion King off the top of my head, Aladdin, those two games I loved on the Sega Mega Drive and they definitely didn't have save points. The thing is, they did get around it by giving you passwords. They had password systems. No, what the get around was, was pausing your game and turning your TV off and leaving the console on all day while you go to school and then you come back and carry on. You mentioned Aladdin. The one I remember from Aladdin is AABB, AABB, AA, just keep pushing AA, BB over and over again and it would skip the level. That's called cheating. No one likes a cheater. We hope you enjoyed the episode. If you have any thoughts or questions or corrections, and indeed, like I said earlier on, if you want to help us out with an opening question, we'd really fucking appreciate it. Drop it in the comments at the bottom of Spotify, if you've got Spotify, or indeed head over to our Instagram, add us, follow us, and give us a comment with a opening question. Much appreciated. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, or leave, actually I might do it. Don't forget to subscribe, rate or leave a review on whatever podcast platform you're listening on. It will help us grow and ensure that more wonderfully ill-informed individuals like yourself can discover the show. I like the fact that if you were listening to that Tom, you'd put that on two times speed. Of course he would, it'd be beautiful. It was lovely. So calming. No, I've just been... I'm doing what we call controlling the mood. You've calmed yourself down now after your rage intro. Yeah. Yes. Now we are slowing it down. It's the end of the episode. I have one word for you, okay? Mousaka. Mousaka. Mousaka. Right, can find links to everything we've talked about this week in the episode show notes. Goodbye. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. Musaka. Bye-bye, Musaka. Musaka. Thank you for visiting the wonderfully ill-informed Digital Spa and Wellness Center today. That will be £2,500.