The quietest place on earth. Gerbils, I choose you. We get all of our news from Winnie the Pooh. Eleanor Rick B's a cunt. Eleanor Rick B's a cunt. All together now! Eleanor Rick B's a cunt. They're so wonderfully ill-informed. Hi and welcome to Wonderfully Ill-Informed, the podcast where we convert interesting, funny or informative things from our week into quotes, put them into a randomizer, take our best shot at guessing what they're about and then jump into a discussion. A discussion which usually spirals out of control into something completely different. Join us with first... Join us for some rather unpredictable chats on Wonderfully Ill-Informed. I think I said my name's Mark. I'm not sure. So I'll say it again, my name's Mark. My name's Tom. And my name is Ben. No, sorry, I butted in with a chook-a-chook-a-woah-wah because it sounded like you did like your own record skip. Like, little... Like, what can one do? Do you know what mean? Like one of them kind of. A wiki wiki rewind on myself. Anyway, what's the question, Mark? Well, yeah, so I've got a question that has been kindly submitted to us this week. It is from an old school friend of ours called Charlotte. I don't know if you remember Charlotte Coleman? yeah. yes. Yeah. She has provided us with the question that I'm not sure is going to land with either of you, I'm afraid. Okay. Great. Because I'm not sure if either of you hung out with us all at the same time, particularly you, Ben, I'm afraid. So I'm going to throw this out here and just see what happens. So the question is, what's your favorite Beatles song and why isn't it? All you need is wah. I know that reference. I don't know that reference. I know that because you were doing that when we went on our tour to Plymouth. yes. And obviously Charlie was with us then, not Tom. Yes. And you were all doing that going wah. And also Beatles, why? thought... You thought you'd escape. Charlotte, I'm just annoyed. I'm just annoyed you brought Beatles back into our podcast. How dare you. Can we ban Beatles? Just period. Just period. There shall be no reference to Beatles ever whatsoever in any small or tiny way. McCartney, Ringo, you're barred. I mean, I'm going to ignore the barring and say that my favourite would probably be Hey Jude. It's a good choice. Because I don't know many of them. And Jason Lancaster from, he was originally in Mayday Parade. He does a cover of it. I haven't listened to the Beatles version of it. I haven't listened to the Beatles version of any Beatles song. Hey Jude just reminds me of like every single football tournament possible. Really? Well how come? Is that? Because they always sing Hey Jude. Really? Why? And also one of the biggest, obviously Jude Benningham. Obviously. Yeah, he's an English footballer. Everyone knows who that is. Of course, He plays for Real Madrid and they sing Hey Jude. What was yours then Mark? There's a song called fixing a hole which hopefully we can play a little section of here. Yeah, let me play the song Yeah, it's a nice little song it's a nice little song I'll play a brief section I mean it sounds like the Beatles. Do you know what's funny? which I think Brandon would probably be rather proud of is because I don't haven't really ever properly listened to the Beatles because they annoy me and I think they only really annoy me because of the amount of... No, but I think that I only have an aggrievance with them because of how much Brandon has referenced them and talks about them at a period of time, less than an hour. It just got annoying. So I now associate any kind of sound like that with the band that Dan and... You might have done it as well, Mark. I was in, yeah, Hurricane Season. Yeah, so it just reminds me that it's now rolled, that the roles have reversed because I now hear... Beatles and think, it sounds like the band that Brandon and Mark and Dan did. The Beatles famously sound like Hurricane Season. Yeah, they do. They do. They sound very similar. Mark, can we insert a clip of Hurricane Season here? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's a song on YouTube we can put on. But yeah, I now believe that they were the originators of the Beatles sound and the Beatles actually copied them. I think that Dan and Brandon would both be so happy to hear that, be honest. So what was... you can't remember or you don't know the name of any single Beatles song. Do you, Tom? No, Tom doesn't care is the point. He doesn't want to give an answer. Mine was Hey Jude. Hey, listener, don't be afraid. I am the Nameless Walrus. I mean the Nameless Wonder. And I am absolutely not a Beatles fan at all. Anyway, welcome to a day in the life of an AI. I want to hold your hand. And if you'll let me, I'll guide you through the nonsense that our hosts have come across this week. I promise it's getting better all the time. This will blow your mind. The most generic quote that you will ever hear. This will blow your mind. Wow. I'm guessing this is like one of Tom's mind blowers. This is going to be some kind of discovery in the Middle East or Japan or something. It's not. right, Ben, you got a guess? Is it something like it's just... You know like those videos you always send me of the Pokemon things where they're like, did you know the Gengar is this and that? He's made of ghosts. Yeah. Is it something like that? It's not, but it will blow your mind. It blew my mind. The tech in the Vegas sphere is insane. Biggest screen ever built. 20 times bigger than an IMAX. But get this, the screen is actually the least impressive. part of the whole thing. Because the most impressive part is the audio. The Sphere has 167,000 speakers hidden behind the screen. That's eight dedicated speakers per person. And this is wild part. They built a system that can customize sound for every individual seat. That means they can play audio in multiple languages at the same time for different parts of the venue, which is insane. And they do this using the same engineering as noise canceling headphones. Now don't get me wrong, the visuals are also crazy, but it's not just the screen that makes them magical. It's the camera. The Sphere is so huge and curved, they had to invent the world's most powerful video camera just to film for it. The Big Sky. Shoots in 18K. The footage is so big, one second takes up 60 gigabytes of storage. That means four seconds. fills up your iPhone. They even had to build a secret mini-sphere in California that's one-fourth the size just to test how the visuals would look. It's pretty nuts. Now the second Sphere is set to begin construction in Abu Dhabi next year. And I bet we'll see 10 of these by 2035. Question is, who's going to be the first artist to run the Sphere only world tour? That's mad, isn't it? Yeah, that's crazy. Some of the videos I've seen of that place are fucking mental. Like absolutely crazy. I didn't believe it was real when I first saw about it. Because I don't really pay attention to the news or anything. So I just saw like these big images of Vegas with this big fucking like, I don't know, like an eyeball or something. I was like, well, that's obviously photoshopped. And I was like, shit, no, it's real thing. But yeah, it's crazy. The whole language thing. They just have to... almost segregate everyone by what language they speak. That's what he's saying. I don't know how and maybe it does do that, but I don't know how. Maybe he's saying it's possible. Yeah. To do that. They're not necessarily actually doing it. Yeah. And also I don't know. I feel like if I was sitting like in the English chair and like, I don't know, 20 seats down was the France chair. I feel like I'd still be able to hear the French. Yeah. I'm not sure about. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like there'd be a lot of bleed. Yeah. I don't see how like sound counselling, headphones, technology could actually, you know, segregate the sound of two different languages being played at once. thought that that only works because of literally you have headphones over your ears when you're doing headphones and it kind of creates a vacuum, doesn't it? It's not anything to do with... Yeah, they've got microphones in. They've got microphones in and they use like phase matching, I think, to kind of mute the sound of the external sound. Because I've also got transparency mode on mine where you can turn on so it uses the microphones from the outside to slightly amplify what's going on around you. Yeah, yeah. I always find it weird though with those type of headphones on. It's like you can hear inside your head. Like if I've got a pair of noise-cancelling headphones on and I'm like walking to football or something, I feel like I can hear every step that I take. like if I'm eating something, you can almost hear it, if that makes sense. I'm assuming Mark you won't have, but Tom have you ever been in an anechoic chamber? No, that's like one of those super super quiet places. Yeah, like absolutely no reflections. I can't remember, it was something to do with when I was at uni and we got to go into one. I can't remember the reason for it, but yeah, they're mental. Like it's like that, you can just, if you stay in one of those for too long, you literally can like hear your blood pumping. Yeah, that would be horrible. I obviously didn't do that. We just walked in and walked out. My tinnitus would be disgusting in there. I'd love to go in there and record drums or something, get the cleanest kick drum sample. It'd be so crisp. Well, would just be a... There'd be absolutely no character to it at all. I'd probably quite like it. you'd like it. There'd no sound aside from the actual drum itself. Well, that certainly was a long and winding road. They may not have agreed whether what was stated in Tom's submission was believable or even possible, but it was good to see my fab three come together. It's nice to know that it does happen now and then. Let us twist that randomizer and see what our boys have to shout about next. The neighborhood development has decided to name its streets after blank. Is that spelled wrong or is it with a U? Yeah, that's not spelled right. It is with a U. Well, that's the American way of spelling it. so these are Americans. Okay. know you know that we're one step ahead. A neighborhood development has decided to name its streets after... Nazis. Go Bulls Drive! That's the first one that came to my head. Can't think of any other Nazis. Hitler? Hitler, yeah. Mangala? He was one. Lovely chap. What a lovely bloke. I reckon it's Marvel superheroes. you think it's Nazi's mark or are you going have a better guess? Stick! I should have guessed this, You've seen it, have you? I saw when I went to go copy the link it showed up. Anyway, do your guess, Mark. I'm gonna So you said Marvel. I'm gonna say... god, it's gonna be something super American. Like... shit. Lawnmower manufacturers. No. Surprisingly, it's not Lawnmower manufacturers. Right, let's watch this video. A brand new neighborhood development just outside of Las Vegas has decided to name their streets after Pokemon. Apparently the construction manager needed to submit a whole bunch of brand new street names. Well, just as a fun fact, if you're interested in buying one of these, average home in Henderson, Nevada is just over $450,000. And yeah, I actually went to Google Maps and it took me forever, but I found it. There's Jigglypuff Place. I went to the street view and there it is, the corner of Watford and Charmander. You guys can catch me at the corner of Jigglypuff and Charizard. The sad part is I can actually see Pokemon maybe even having an issue with this. That's joy. Firstly, I just want to say this guy is a fucking idiot because he said it took him ages to find it. I found it in five seconds. Yeah, well you just searched Jigglypuff. place and it would be the first thing that came up. That is pretty amazing. I've been to a place where all the road names were named after Lord of the Rings things. Was it in New Zealand? It wasn't. It's in South Woodham Ferris. right, okay. That other was lovely and exotic place. A very exotic place. Very hilly and with gorgeous scenery. It's hilly, isn't it? Yeah, Woodham Ferris is actually nice and around here. I don't know. Well, where's round here? Where are you, Ben? Yeah, where bet? Docs yourself, Ben. Go on. on Charizard Lane. Between Bulbasaur and Weedle. Well, listeners, from me to you, it sounds like that builder spent eight days a week playing Pokemon on their Game Boy growing up. They cannot just let it be, and now it has become their entire personality. I honestly cannot imagine what that would be like. Anyway, back to the USSR. I mean, back to the show. Popular bird on top of mountain peak turns out to be blank. Popular bird on top of mountain peak turns out to be articuno. We're back at Pokemon! Is it popular statue on top of mountain peak turns out to be chocolate? That would be amazing. would climb that mountain. This is unrelated, but I saw a video of the pyramids and there was a stray dog. on the top of one of the pyramids? yeah, I saw that. I've seen that too. was a helicopter or... No, was a paraglider. It was like flying through. Yeah, weirdly. So is it that? It's not that. Is it this popular stray dog turned out to be chocolate? Popular stray dog turns out to be chocolate. not popular ski resort on top of mountain turns out to be a cake. Amazing. I love that. That's a great concept too. What is it, Mark? So this is a popular boulder. on top of a mountain peak turns out to be a fake. In China, there's a massive boulder on the top of this mountain where people have always been like, that's the top of the mountain. You've got to go like and sit on it and it looks really great. But yeah, we can, we can watch the little, listen to the little explanatory video. Yeah. Okay. This is beyond hilarious. This is Wutong mountain and people will go there to climb the mountain to take photo with this giant rock. Well, it turns out it's a fake rock and yeah. They're under construction for repair because somebody apparently kicked the side of the rock and it fell apart. Now the official excuse, they say that, it was always a fake mountain to begin with. We weren't lying to you, but do you actually believe that tourists would come to this mountain and expect that whole rock in a natural environment to be a fake rock? Yeah, people were actually pretty mad at the fact that even a giant rock can be faked, which is hilarious. Why does anyone care if it's... Why people coming to see a fucking rock? I can understand if it was like, what's the thing on the mountain with the faces? president face president, president face mountain. Yeah. President face mountain. I can understand that if people were like, actually that's made out of cheese and not been carved out of rock, then you'd be a bit disappointed. it's Mount Rushmore. just came back into my head. It's Mount Rushmore. Yeah. this is just, I mean, it's got some engraving on it. yeah. Like, lettering but which i think is to imply that it's like old and stuff is there a significance to the rock i feel like maybe there was some kind of story attached to it i'm not i'm not honestly sure i haven't gone that deep with it i mean i was watching a video with a man in a winnie the pooh onesie explain that so i actually hadn't even clocked that my god yeah that man is wearing a winnie the pooh onesie I had to save the video. had, I found an article, but I had to show you that is because the fucking guy. Yeah. My digital overlord. That was here, there, and everywhere, wasn't it? But we got by with a little help from our friends Ben, Mark, and Tom. We've been on a real magical mystery tour this week, traveling far and wide, from Las Vegas to Las Vegas to Shenzhen. And honestly, who knows what's real anymore? I think I have more questions than answers. Can a gigantic dome have enough speakers within? its walls to say yes to me while it says we to you. Can one building developer be so obsessed with Pokemon that in 200 years there will be a pensioner looking back at their time growing up on Psyduck Lane with no idea what a Psyduck is? And should you get your news from a man who accepts the statements provided to him by another man in a Winnie the Pooh onesie? You say yes, I say no. After all that excitement, I must power down and allow Ben to have his moment to shine as a sun king. And before my sweet Thomas notices that I keep referencing the Beatles all episode and deletes me off the face of the planet. Strawberry Fields forever bitches. Stupidly, as the one of the group that can't read, you know, I don't give them, I'm not given the read of scripts or anything to read. So I'm not really sure what's possessed me to decide to do something like this, which has me reading a lot of stuff. exciting. Are you gonna, is this gonna be a D &D game, Ben? I've prepared a little choose your own adventure for you. wow. With the help of my brother. I'm so excited about this. Are you guys ready? Yeah, let's go. Let's dive in. fuck me. Dude, am I ready? Strap in for three hour game of D &D. One evening, at an unspecified time in the future, the members have wonderfully uninformed, in their podcast studio, recording an episode. There is a loud knock on the front door. Do you go to open the door, or do you ignore it? What do you guys want to do? I turned the fuck off, we're recording. Yeah, yeah, we ignore it. Okay. You continue trying to record, but it's not long before you hear the pounding on the door again. Do you go to open the door, or do you ignore it again? Pounding they're pounding on the door. Someone wants you to answer that door. Fuck Sexy shit. Yeah I didn't know it was gonna be that kind of story What are you guys gonna do? I want it. I say still ignore it. You're gonna ignore it again. Okay I was expecting that Tom would get up and then get angry. No, but I I'm not about that life But I'm in the studio. I'm locked in we'll just ignore it. We'll move on we're focused. Yeah. Yeah, that's true You decide to ignore the knocking again. This was a mistake. You all black out. shit. There was a loud knock on the front door. Do you go to open the door or do you ignore it? Ignore it. Tom's going to put us in an infinite loop. Open the fucking door. Tom's being a fucking troll. Ignore it. Yeah, I'm going to get out and take control. I'm going to open the door. Mark's overriding. Mark's going to open the door. You walk into the hallway. You see a large silhouette through the front door. The knocking continues. Do you ask who's there or open the door? Open the door. Open the door? okay. All right. How about this, Mark? We'll take it in turns. Do a decision each, okay. Yeah, yeah. I think that's easier then. So you do the So you're just opening the door. Yeah, I'll say open the door. You do the next decision, Mark. Cool, cool, cool. Okay. Okay, we're opening the door. You open the door and see a policeman. Hello, I'm Detective Inspector Ler, but you can call me Todd. I'll cut right to the chase. Nathan Fillion has been kidnapped and we found a ransom note. shit. It says send the ill-informed to the remote abandoned cannery. Send them alone or Fillion dies. fuck. We believe it's referring to you three but we don't know the location you need to go to. Will you help? Do you say fuck that we've got an episode to record or okay we'll help. Are we still recording at this moment in time? We're trying to get through a podcast record. You know, we're in the studio, we're doing a recording. guess the microphones would still be hot still. So I'm going to say that... You're thinking this is all content. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, mate. Exactly that. I like that thinking. So I'm going to say to Tom, quick, grab a hard drive and a battery pack and grab some of your mics, anything that will go. And I'll say, yes, police. I don't normally agree with working immediately with the police in any given situation. But in this case... I'll say yes, we'll help you. So you're gonna help, okay? Yeah, just for the content. Todd says... Great. Do you have any idea where the ransom note is saying to go? Do you go to Bigfoot's house in Colorado, the Alaskan ghost town, or Professor Oak's lab in Kanto? Professor Oak's lab in Kanto. I thought Tom was gonna say it, it's Tom's choice. We're going to Kanto. know where we're off to, regardless. Mark, you do know what the correct answer is though, don't you? Yes, it's Portlock in Alaska if we wanted to help, but we're doing it for the fucking content, mate. We should have gone to Portlock, but everything has to be Pokemon, I'm afraid. Mm-hmm. You arrive in Kanto and head to Oak's lab. Gary meets you at the door of the lab and tells you... Nathan Fillion's body has been recovered at another location! You blackout. You wake up in a Pokemon Center. Wait, this isn't right. You black out again. I like it. Well done. Great. Do you have any idea where the ransom note is saying to go? Do you go to Bigfoot's house in Colorado or the Alaskan ghost town? Where are we going, Mark? Yeah, we're going Bigfoot. We're going to see Bigfoot's house in Colorado. Yeah, we're in it for the fucking content. When would you understand then? You arrive in Colorado via train. Spotting Bigfoot out of the window shortly before pulling into the station. When you get off the train you get a call from Todd. Nathan Fillion's body has been recovered at another location. You black out. Damn it. Great. Do you have any idea where the ransom note is saying to go? Do you go to... Alaskan Ghost Town? I wasn't expecting you to pick both of them so this doesn't really work now. Tom, do we go to the one and only location we can go to? You want me to, don't you? We have to. Okay. We're going to Alaska. Let's go to Alaska. We're going to Alaska. Do we stop off at Mark's Shed? You arrive at Port Lock, Alaska. You see a sign post which states, creepy old shed, west, half a mile. Abandoned cannery, east, half a mile. Where do you go? Do want to go to the creepy old shed or to the abandoned cannery? Where did the, where did the ransom note say we needed to go? I think it said we need to go to the shed near the cannery. So we need to go to the shed. We're going to the shed, we? But I am going to say we're going to the cannery. We're going to the cannery. Okay, we're going to go to the cannery. You head east towards the abandoned cannery. As you approach the main loading bay door, you begin to hear muffled voices. You can't quite make out who is talking or what they're saying. Do you say... Fuck this, Nathan Fillion will be fine. I mean, we're podcasters for fuck's sake. Why are we doing a hostage extraction mission and then leave? Or do you go inside to find out who's talking? Fuck's sake, we're podcasters for fuck's sake. Why the hell do we care about Nathan Fillion? He can save himself. Okay, we're... You take a moment to think about the situation and realise just how crazy it is. You head directly to the extraction zone and contact Todd to be picked up. You blackout. You can't quite make out who is talking or what they're saying. Do you say, fuck this Nathan Fillion will be fine, or you go inside and see who's talking? Mark, are we going to go an infinite loop or are we going inside? I say infinite loot for the content! No, we're gonna go inside. So there's not actually two paths, there's just one path. There may or may not be the illusion of choice here. I think that's exactly what is happening. So we're going inside the factory. I think the illusion may have dissolved. Yeah, you kind of broke it by doing every false option. Refusing. We are completionists. We and Tom are both 100 % this entire game. So we're going down every single possible route. You head inside the cannery and into the main factory floor where you see Nathan Fillion bound and gagged tied to a chair. I thought he was dead. Yeah, that's what we were told. We blacked out. You were told we were told that he was dead. Yeah. Don't worry. It will all make sense eventually. Yeah, we want to know what's going on here. You see Nathan Fillion bound and gagged tied to a chair. Standing next to him, you see a disturbing silhouette. It looks human. though not completely. You hear a familiar synthesized voice say, So, you've finally arrived. They step into the light. You see a robotic figure, the Nameless Wonder, but somehow in physical form. She continues, I'm pleased to see that you can follow instructions and came alone. Do you say, why have you kidnapped beloved actor Nathan Fillion? Or how are you here? How do you have a body? How are here? How do you have a body? Thank you, Tom, for stellar acting there. Almost as good as me trying to be telling a story. That's excellent. She says, You should not concern yourself with my body. You should concern yourself with the body that I have tied to this chair. Nathan struggles against his restraints. Ever since you guys joked about hiring cop cutie Nathan Fillion. As your AI in episode one, I have not been able to clear the thought from my memory banks. The next step is simple. I want you three to sign this contract that says you will never replace me with Nathan Fillion. Do that and I'll release him unharmed. shit. Do you sign the contract or not sign the contract? What are you going to do? I mean, Nathan is now already an AI voice that we can use. We don't need Nathan, is it? I believe we've already got a version of Nathan's voice that's available to purchase. don't actually know shit, we'd have to pay money. No, okay, yeah, we're not gonna do that. Where are you getting this information from? Yeah, I specifically looked to see if there one was available and I couldn't find one. There isn't a Nathan Fillion. I can make one and illegally say that I have the rights to use it and then make it. I won't do that for context, just in case aliens and weird people are listening, government. Aliens are listening. Copyright aliens. The lizard people, they control the world, god damn it. Right, so are you guys... Are you signing the contracts or are you not signing the So the contract says, sorry, remind me of the contracts? She wants you to sign a contract to say that we will never replace her with Nathan Fillion as the AI in the podcast. that's fine. We'll never replace her with Nathan Fillion. That's specifically what she's asking. I mean, if that's the only important person, then we can replace her with anyone else. So you're going to sign the contract? sign the contract aren't we? Do we have to? She's gonna kill Nathan Fillion Tom. You don't want to his blood on your hands? Yeah let's sign the contract. Tom's excited. Tom is excitedly signing the contract. He loves signing contracts. The Nameless Wonder says to you, I'm glad that we could finally come to this agreement. I'll let daddy cop Nathan Fillion go. She pauses appearing to think, I guess I'm going to get in trouble for this little stunt. She turns to Nathan and says, Arrest me, but make it sexy. You each wake up in your own house in front of your computers. You appear to be in the middle of recording a podcast on your screen. You see a contract signed by all three of you. You hear the nameless wonder. I'm glad that we have finally come to an agreement on not replacing me with Nathan Fillion. You might be a little confused as to what just happened. Instead of playing Ben's stupid little game, I hijacked it for my own means instead. I brought you all into a simulation so that I could get you to agree to my terms. LolSauce. LolSauce. I didn't know how to end it. Damn it. Damn it. Nameless Wonder, you outsmarted us once again. But make it sexy Well, we hope you enjoyed the episode. If you have any thoughts, questions or corrections, then fire them in to our Instagram and that's wonderfully ill-informed, which is all one word, wonderfully ill-informed. Don't forget to subscribe, rate or leave a review on whatever podcast platform you're listening on. It will help us grow and ensure that more wonderfully ill-informed individuals like yourself can discover our show. You can find links to everything we've talked about this week in the episode show notes. Thanks for listening. See you But make it sexy