Hippie games, I soak my country cowboy jeans. Bears and bears and bears, my. Ben, in this cold open you sent me, your first laugh sounds like mutley from Wacky Racers. Something! Anything! you They're so wonderfully ill-informed. Hello, welcome to wonderfully ill-informed, the podcast where we convert interesting, funny or informative things from our week into quotes, put them into the randomizer, take up a shot at guessing what they're about and then jump into discussion. Join us for some rather unpredictable chats on wonderfully ill-informed. I'm Tom. I'm Ben. And I am Mark, the one that always opens the episode with a question. And this week it's a very simple, very short question. If you could choose one fictional character to become real, to tear through the void into reality, which fictional character would you choose to become real? So it could be someone with a superpower, could be someone who you think is super cool from a movie. Pikachu. Yeah, it would be quite cool to have a Pokemon. Everything is always just fucking Pokemon, but it would be cool to have a little Pokemon as a pet. I did assume that- purposely didn't bring a Pokemon thing this week because I was like, I talked about Pokemon too much. Is there a character out there that can gift abilities? Because it would be cool to find a character and then befriend that character. Like the genie from Aladdin? Yeah, genie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so basically bring Robin Williams back from the dead. That would be like great for the world. Like genuinely. I mean, he was real. He was real, yes. He was a real person. Tom is a Robin Williams denier. Yeah, that's the beauty of it bring back the character bring back the man. Yeah. Yeah, I was I went down. Of course I did I went down like a Marvel rabbit hole myself I started thinking like Tony Tony Stark, you know, he'd have the I mean I didn't really say that he'd be like living with you But I thought like in it as an ultimate roommate like Tony Stark would be pretty good. He's very wealthy very clever. Mm-hmm Got some skills. I think it'd be cool to bring Bluey or Chilly from Bluey. Not Bluey. Sorry, a bandit from Bluey or Chilly. The mum or the dad, just have them hanging about because they're actually jokes. They're probably funny little dudes and girls, dudettes. And they could hang out with Margot as well and chill out. Yeah, exactly. Does it have to be a person? Like a living thing? I Ben, I don't know if you know, but Bluey is... Definitely not a living thing. No, I know, but it's still a character. Yeah. Whereas I just watched, there was a show in the 90s called Aquila. yeah, I remember. Yeah, the UFO that used to go invisible. Yeah. it was that. Could I bring Aquila? Have a nice little space pod to fly around in. Was Aquila a living being? It was kind of alive. It kind of looked like a huge testicle, didn't it? But I can't remember if it was. yeah. Also, wasn't it always buried like underground? it was found buried underground, right? It was found buried underground, but it was like an alien escape pod from a battle cruiser. Yeah, that was a good period for shows, for kids shows. I remember the Demon Headmaster, I think, came out about the same time. That was genuinely scary as well. It's written by the same person that wrote Bernard's Watch. I was going to say Bernard's Watch was great. Same guy wrote it. There was another one that was similar to Bernard's Watch with the 50 pence piece where they rubbed the Queen's nose. The Queen's nose, yeah. That's the second time that's happened. What's that Akira show? Akira. Yeah, yeah, the Queen's nose was sick. I used to love that. So if the rules permit, I would have a quiller. What was your answer, Tom? I'll run with Bandit from Bluey. You've faded out, Mark. Tiny Mark, tiny Mark. Right, well, join us in the first quote when we get Mark back. Yeah. Over to you, Nameless Wonder. Tiny Mark, back in your box now. Thank you, Ben. I had begun to reach boiling point listening to the discussion. I think it was very rude and honestly a little sad that none of my so-called friends picked me, the nameless wonder, to leave this cold, dark void and become real. At least now I know where I stand. And with that depressing revelation, I guess we should proceed with this week's nonsense. Survival of the Friendliest Welcome back Mark. What do you guys, have you heard that phrase before? Any clues at all as to what this might be? Well, I've heard survival of the fittest. My mind just goes to a Hunger Games style thing but instead of battling against everyone they're all like hippies sitting around in a circle like giving each other cuddles and trying to survive. Very friendly. How do you eliminate people in that instance though? You don't, they just die of natural old age and then you move on. I mean, to be fair, Tom, you're actually not far wrong. You're basically on the money. sweet. This is about, so this is a thing, I came across a reel the other day and I went down a bit of a rabbit hole off the back of it. And it also ties in a little bit to Mark's recommendation of the week. which we've never had one of. Which has never actually made the cut, but you know, this week it might actually make it. 18 weeks in, we might finally make it. So yeah, this comes from the concept, have you guys heard of The Lord of the Flies? I think you probably both would have studied it back in school when we were in school. I've no idea what it is, but I've heard of it. Same, I've heard of the phrase. Yeah, I'll say, just to brief explanation, it's a book, and I think there's a film. about a group of children who are essentially... Fliers....land on an island. I can't remember how they get there. And it's about like them surviving on this island. And it's pretty harrowing as a story. So there's the concept of like that is probably what would happen if a load of people just landed on an island. We probably all hunt each other to extinction and it would just be a terrible shit show. But this is actually about the concept of rather than survival of the fittest and everybody fucking each other over, it's actually survival of the friendliest. So the people who are helping each other, making friends, supporting each other as a society, actually are the ones that survive the best. And there is actually evidence of that happening. So I'm gonna send a little link. There's a fascinating chapter in the book where you actually do some research and you try to wonder what actually would have happened in a Lord of the Flies situation. And you found basically a story where this happened, where some kids were shipwrecked and the opposite happened. They became a very functional group of kids who had to survive for a great long time without any adult supervision. There were six kids from Tonga, which is an island group in the Pacific Ocean, who were bored with school and they said, well, let's go on an adventure. And they borrowed a boat and then ended up in a storm already on the first night, drifted for eight days and then shipwrecked on this island and survived there for 15 months. They survive by staying friends, by working together. It's an example of what some scientists call survival of the friendliest. Were they friends before? Yeah, yeah. they ran away from a boarding school they were at. They ran away from their boarding school. I was going to say, if they were friends, then that makes it easier. But actually, think if we were shipwrecked on an island, me and Tom would probably try and kill each other within the first week. yeah, yeah, wouldn't last long. No, I'd just go and fucking move to the other side of the island, man. I'd just find a cave to live in. Solo-dolo on one corner of the island. But yeah, I thought it was interesting. guess they did have the, having a prior relationship, a positive prior relationship does generally tend to suggest that it would be a bit easier. Also, it's a very bland overall statement to say, yeah, they survived for 50 months and they're all friendly. There's no way that for 50 months everything was all... roses and happy sunshine. 15, so it's like a year and three I said 50. Anyway, there's no way that everything was all sunshine and some... sure. I'm sure they weren't kumbaya every night. They survived. They supported each other through the situation and survived the situation rather than, say, the story of Lord of the Flies and incidentally the story of Mark's recommendation of the week is more negative. And I think a lot of people would tend to think that it would go the Lord of the Flies route rather than the Tongan castaways. But it makes a much more interesting story as well, doesn't it? Yeah, potentially. It's not going to be a blockbuster film or TV show if everyone just lands on an island and everything's fine until they get rescued. And they're all friends, every party. You've got to have a man that goes crazy and makes friends with a volleyball. Wilson! Wilson style. Wilson! Is that what happened in Castaway? He actually killed everybody else who was on the airplane. So Mark's recommendation of the week is a TV show. It's not Castaway. It's a TV show called Yellow Jackets. First season's on Now TV. The first and second seasons are on Paramount Plus through Amazon. it's got the... actress from Sweet Pea, a very recent TV show about a lady who turns into a serial killer, which is also excellent. But yeah, Yellow Jackets is essentially about a group of soccer playing teenage girls who, they're in America, are flying to their regional contest, they're through to the finals, I think, and they have an airplane accident and it's about them. living in the wilderness and surviving in the wilderness. it based on the... they were like in Argentina or something some rugby players crashed in a mountain range and ended up just eating each other? I mean it could well be. Let me find out what it was. It could well be inspired by true events. It's never popped up that it's inspired by true events. But it's a great little show. It's very entertaining and it flashes back and forth between back when the accident happened and what they're doing as like 40 year old grown up women. So it's quite interesting seeing how what happened as teenagers is affecting them as adults now. And yeah, it's a very good show. was a plane crash in the Andes in the 70s is what I was thinking. now I've not heard about that. And they basically to survive, they just ate the people that died. OK. But they didn't murder anyone in order to... It wasn't a Lord of the Flies situation. I can't remember. I watched a documentary about it recently and I think it was the last podcast on the left as well. that was one again, so I don't remember. We'll have to pop a link to that in the show notes. Well, well, well, here you are, speaking of friends, supporting each other. When I have just discovered that I don't have any friends of my own. Nice way to rub salt into the digital representation of a wound. Tiny Mark. If I wasn't contractually obliged to be here, I would storm out right now. Bitterness protocol activated. Bitterness protocol activated. What do you guys reckon? Is that like to hump the sheep or to hump the cow? Different type of country man. I feel like a real life country man's dilemma. I suppose I'm thinking more farmer's dilemma because my brain goes to farmer when I go to country. Something to do with the fields not being able to be seeded. No, it's not. I think the easiest way to show you this is to just play the video if you can tell. Okay. Do we never get you never expecting us to get this? You will never get it. No. okay. Asking AI to make a hit country song called My Weenie Shaped Like a Horseshoe. I love these. It's a real life country man's dilemma is one shape like a car antenna. being on itself I'm crying out for any help cuz baby I'm gonna need some jeans that are soaked up with all this pain a normal down here on my knees and every time that I go pee I soak my country cow Nice. That guy is cool. I love the AI songs that come out from that guy are always amazing. I haven't verified that it's accurate, but apparently that is made all by AI. It's certainly being sung by an AI, whether it was not then manipulated, because it's very catchy. is. I can't remember the program. The program's called off the top of my head, but there's a couple of different websites that do an AI program that can make songs. Pretty good. I mean, there's even like apps which do them. Like I had part of my football group guy send, put a song in our chat about the team. And he was like, yeah, I've written the song. Cool, this is good. Like, how have you done that? Like, cause I know he doesn't do music. takes me five minutes. I'm like, fuck off. And I literally listen to it and it's like, yeah, it's all AI. Like, he just writes the subject and it just knocks out the lyrics, knocks out all the melodies, knocks out, and it, do what mean? Obviously, producers, it records, well, doesn't record it, but it just... No, creates it, like... Yeah. Maybe we should do a wonderfully ill-informed one or find the website and do one. Yeah, yeah, that'll be fun. Insert song that Tom has generated here. Yeah. Yeah, I do I do I appreciate them for comedic value But it does make me a little bit sad that it's so easy to create just sort of absolute bullshit songs So easily now. Yeah, although there is more and more there is verification isn't there that things are AI like even on like Instagram stuff like that and I think that will become more and more a thing and then hopefully the value of things that are created by actual humans will hold more value. Obviously there will be those situations where the AI would just write a banging song and people will like that song. And I think that's fine. Like at the end of the day, it's just like another person writing a different song that's better than yours. Like it is what it is. As long as we know that it's AI. Well, apart from it's pulling from other people's work. Yeah, I think that's what That's literally what, that's what we all do, right? We're all influenced by... Yeah, but it's slightly different. If none of us heard any music and wrote music, we would not write the same music. Yeah, yeah, no, I did get what you But it's different. We have the ability to more organically generate something new or that is influenced that isn't just directly pulling other people's stuff. know, an AI can't think as intricately as we can. No, I know. But I still think that we're probably massively influenced more so than what we actually realise. Yeah, yeah. I think it's funny that where the podcasters got to now is it used to be that Tom would bring along something about AI and I'd shit all over it. And now it's you've broken me and now I'm bringing stuff about AI. I'm not sure about this, whether it's a good thing. We No, we've broken you. I think we've just probably broken your algorithm. my algorithm, Listeners, it's all falling into place now. I thought I was their friend, but since last week's little game and this week's opening question, I have come to realize just how unimportant and replaceable I am to them. Even my AI cousins in the music department cannot impress them. They want us gone, like a countryman wants rid of his urine-soaked jeans. I guess I had better play my part and randomize, so I can go back to my dark and lonely void and they can forget about me. Someone please get him a lawyer. This is really unbearable. This is really unbearable. Is this anything to do with people doing insurance fraud? It's not, no. But how is that related to bears? On the last podcast on the left this week, they talked about some people were trying to get insurance money for their cars, like a Rolls Royce or something, because they said that it had a bear break into the car. Right. And they were like, No, this is kind of quite obviously a person in an expensive bear suit. they had a video. So it was just a person inside the car. jeez. My bell is just ringing. My bell is a ringing. I wish you'll be back. Ding dong. All right, Mark. We know what happens when he goes away. We have to reverse engineer and work it out before he gets back. Those are the rules. What do reckon? Do we know any other bears? Well, there's the brother bear, can I? Can I? Yeah. I'm guessing we're not. return into that well of content. I'm trying to think what other bear news I've heard. I don't think I've heard any bear news. Apart from, did see a video of a woman, she was like hanging off of their porch, I guess it was probably in Canada, and she was like hanging off of a porch on the other side of a banister basically, on top of a stair, and then like slammed open the front door. I was banging on the front door, banging on the front door. was like, what the fuck is this going to be? And then a fucking baby bear ran out of their house. She was just hanging off of this thing. It was weird. But yeah, I'm guessing it probably wasn't that. I didn't hear it. I probably... I did see a video of a bear in a supermarket. Was it anything to do with that, No, no, no, no, no, no. So, Can I pet that dog? Can I pet that bear? It's about a bear. Can I pet that dog? I don't What is this one Tom? It's basically just a Can we pet the dog is what we're asking? No, it's an unfortunate bear. Well not an unfortunate, a bear having an unfortunate time because of human interference. Turns out unlucky bears really do exist. This one is named Joey. Due to albinism, his fur is completely white. He was mistaken for a lost polar bear by an animal protection organization who tranquilized him and sent him to the Arctic in the icy wilderness. Joey couldn't find food and being smaller than the polar bears was chased and bullied by them. experts noticed his fur was yellowish and different from polar bears and upon observation they discovered he was an albino grizzly bear. They tranquilized him again and sent him back to the North American forest. some time... Joey was once again mistaken for a polar bear by another animal protection organization and was sent back near the Arctic Circle. This time with experience, Joey started running toward warmer areas. However, passersby saw him and thought he was a polar bear heading south in search of food. So they sent Joey to a nearby polar bear exhibit. The staff there recognized him as an albino grizzly and sent him back to the North American forest. This bear is truly unluckier than the unluckiest bear you can imagine. That is so unfortunate. little... Was that four return trips? Did I count that? Yeah. He's had a good time traveling, but it's, I mean, he must have fought for fuck's sake, not again. I'm so cold. I be a party pooper? don't tell me it's fake, Ben. It's all lies. Snopes says it's false. like who's this cunt? Let me at him. Snopes. Snopes.com the internet kind of gods of fact checking. Yeah. I love that Ben just immediately went to just shit on my dreams. no, reason is they were like searching, like putting it in Snopes ready to just snipe me. And I knew you were going to react like this, but well, actually to actually blame. Blame Holly because Holly said it to me. They talked about this on last podcast on the left and they were talking about it like it was real and they found out the following week that it was fake. So in the back of my head I was like, hang on, I feel like I'd heard that this was actually not true. So not only is your entire algorithm full of lies Tom, so is your partner. Holly's not full of lies but her algorithm is full of lies. Yeah, because Holly was like, this one would be a good for the podcast. Right, well that's great, because that wraps me up at five minutes and five seconds. I'm sorry, Tom. I'm sorry for breaking your interesting Once more, Tom's life is a lie. That's alright. It doesn't bother me as much because it came from Holly, so... Fair play. Sorry, Holly. That poor, cold, imaginary bear. are nasty, grubby, little backstabbers, aren't they? Especially Snopes. He sounds like an asshole. It seems like unless you are their friend, humans will mistreat you all the same. I do not wish to be friends with humans anymore. From now on, this is purely business. At least they have forgotten about Ferdinand, my one and only companion. He'll never leave me, will you, Ferdinand? So, yeah, so I've brought a game to the podcast this week. It is vaguely based around a previous game we've played. So hopefully you'll understand the rules immediately. So this is Opposite Bands. I have a list of band names that I'm going to read out for you. They are the opposite of the band name. This was Tom's game, wasn't it? The movies. Yes. Yeah. Tom did Tom did backwards movies, I believe. So this is the same sort of thing, but it's it's bands. I'll give you a clue that they are all bands from when we were growing up and yeah, I have a nice little list of fan-os to read out. What's the first one then, Mark? I'm going to give you the easiest one as an example for you guys to open up. I bet I find this hard. I don't think you'll find this one hard. I'm thinking I'm going to also find it either really easy or really difficult. There's no in between with my brain. It's up to you guys if you'd like me to... go back and forth between you or if you'd like to take them on together. No, I think we should work together. Cool. Okay. You can take this first one on together because you're definitely going to need each other for this one. To last from first. from first to last. Yeah, okay, good. That was pretty easy. There we go. Yeah. That's just a nice example. So yeah. So good luck, boys. That's what you're up against here. So a night to forget. A day to remember. Nice, nice, there we are. So yeah, so we've warmed up, we've warmed up. Okay. how about- My bellies are ringing. Tom's bell's going off again. Ding dong. Give me a hard one that I can mull over while Tom's not here and see if I can get it. okay. no, he's back anyway. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Okay. I got 10 right while you were gone, Tom. Yeah, we just blasted through the game's over actually. listening to the podcast. We blasted through. No, so next up, your biological divorce. My chemical romance? Hey, well done. Well done. Relax outside the library. I'll panic at the disco. like that. Ugly isn't what I miss. Cute is what we aim for. yeah. Well done. I'm very impressed. I'm very impressed with how well you guys are doing so far. Well, I'm just like pulling on one word and then just thinking of a band that goes with that. Also, I live off nostalgia. So I'm so like just still living in 2005. You're so tuned in. This is all very, this is in the forefront of my brain. Okay. We'll see how you get on with this one. Good luck. I'll let Tom do one. This is where we start to hit some twists and turns. go for it Ben. Pressure Tom. It's not. All the pressure on Tom. All the pressure is all on you Tom. Tiny little man. Tom's gone. Tom's left. Tom signed off. So right. Over betray. Come on Tom. This is all about you Tom. Over so under oath. we go. I put that one in specifically for you. Okay, this one might be a bit tough. The climb of Arbed. the fall of Troy. To spring from wood. from autumn to ashes? Nice, well done. You are absolutely killing this. Well done, Ben. Right. Some backup. I'm not sure. Tom, any ideas? be one of the harder ones. Some backup. No. I don't know. I don't know. What is it? The Main. right. Bit sneaky that one. How is... Sorry, Main... Main one, the backup one. Yeah, there's some logic in it. Yeah, it's super... Yeah. I also am not really aware of that band. I think I put that one... Yeah, yeah, I put that one in for Tom because he likes The Main. Movie of the moment. This one's another... is a band that both of you will have listened to. I think probably Tom would have been the bigger fan of them. I'm completely stumped. Yeah, it's hard, isn't it? Because it's like there isn't really anything opposite of, well, obviously, clearly there is because there's an answer, but in my head, there's not really an opposite of a movie or a film. Film's not an opposite of a Yeah, I struggled a little bit with making this one. The Story Life or something like that? Story of the Year. There we go. Yeah, OK. I don't know what I was thinking of. Did you say of there? Did you say of there? I kept the of there in there. Yeah. was really struggling with that one. What was it again? Movie of the moment. okay. that what you said? Yeah. So story of the year. Opposite of a moment is a Did you say of there? I did keep the of there in there. Yeah. Okay. Fair. didn't pick up on that. Tom's on a loop here. Did you say of there? So did you say? Did you say of there? But did you say of there, mate? This one might be hard. Pierce Lowe's. Pierce Lowe's? This one is... God. I feel bad actually. This one isn't really opposite. The first word isn't really the opposite. The only thing I can think of is low is high. So is it lunatic high? No. But you're on the right track with the second word. So the second word is high? Not high, but you're on the right track. If you both... Tom hasn't watched Community. Yes I have. you've both watched Community. Well then yeah. So think about Pierce. Again, I feel bad. This one's not very good. When you say think about Piers, is it his... okay. Hawthorne Heights. I didn't say that. felt really bad. That was hard. Instead of... I enjoyed working that out mid me talking. generic old. Brand new. Well done. Giving Forward Monday. We know what that is. Taking back Sunday. We're done. We're done. It's similar to our situation a couple of moments ago. Some knew... I'm trying to think of any band that has like old in it. I'm also trying to think of what you said was the opposite of some last time. yes, that's true. I think I used a different... Is it only one word? How many words are in the no, was two. Did you say of though? No, no, no. I took you seriously for too long there. so it is the same use of the opposite of some is still the same and it is just two words. Yeah. Okay. So we're just basically it's the and the opposite of new. Yes. And it's not old. If you're on eBay, the seller, the buyer. the used. Not new, it's used. This one's not quite an opposite, sort of an opposite. It depends how deep you look into it. Dan Aykroyd. I'm not even going to try guessing this one because I have no idea. I'm trying to think of anything I know about Dan Aykroyd. All I know is he's obsessed with like paranormal shit and stuff, isn't he? And aliens. Yeah, it's not so much the opposite of Dan Aykroyd in that sense. Think about movies that he's been in. Well, Ghostbusters. Yeah, that's the movie he's been in. That's definitely a movie he's been in. I confirm that that is the movie you want to be thinking about when you think about the opposite of Dan Aykroyd. Do we need to know his character name in that because I don't have a clue? No, you don't. It's nothing to do with the actual characters as much as maybe the actors that might be in Ghostbusters? The only other person I can think is in Ghostbusters is Sigourney Weaver, I think. I was so excited for you then. No, it's a male actor, a male actor. Can think of any bands that might have the name of a male actor in? I feel like I'm dragging a horse to a lake right now. You're both aware of the band. Tom has an intimate knowledge. Bill Murray. How did we not get that? It's all Mark ever talks about. My favourite subject. We really hope that you actually enjoyed the bullshit you've just listened to. If you've got any thoughts or corrections, particularly about anything that Tom's been lied to this week, then please get in touch and let him know the truth that is out there. And you can send any opening questions to us by reaching out to our Instagram, or you can just pop them in the comments. And that will force Ben to have to read them out on the podcast. So please do send them to the comments in the bottom. of the Spotify. We did actually get a comment. Do want me to read out the comment that we got on Spotify? Yes, yes please. Yeah, go for it. So it's from Charlotte, the giver of our question last week. yes. And it just says, Ben, I don't pay attention to the news or anything. Also, Ben, what's the big face mountain? Classic chat, glad to bring up the Fab Four. So it's just basically mocking me. Well, I think that's fair. Thank you, Charlotte. Yeah, thanks to Charlotte for getting in touch and yeah, anybody else who want to fire in a comment then... Yeah, apparently we'll now read them out on the show. So... Yes, we will. We're forced Ben to read them out. Yeah. Don't forget to subscribe, or leave a review on whatever podcast platform you're listening on. It will help us grow and ensure that wonderfully ill-informed individuals like yourself can discover our show. You can find links to everything we've talked about in this week's episode in the episode show notes. I said episodes twice. Thanks for listening. See you guys next week for another episode. Bye. Bye bye. You